Blur Imagines

once had a love, and it was a gas

It's the year 1994 and you get the chance to have a meet and greet with Blur. You're so excited that when you finally get to go back stage to meet them, you can't even decide who to meet first. As if it were a miracle, Damon makes eye contact with you from across the room. You take this as an opportunity to go up to him and give him a hug.
You are so excited. You've been waiting for this for such a long time. Everything is happening in slow motion. You stretch out your arms, Damon stretches his, and as you lean in to the longed embrace you cannot contain your...you cannot contain your gas.

You let out the loudest fart anyone's ever heard in the 20th century. There's is not a single chance that no one heard you because as soon as you let it out everything went silent. You are so embarrassed. Your cheeks flush and you decide to run out of the room before anyone recognizes you. Out of all the worst case scenarios you played out in your head, you could have never imagined this nightmare. You go home and hope that this whole situation can just be forgotten.

~Fast forward a couple months~
You're clicking through the TV and you realize that Blur is being interviewed on MTV. You decide to watch because after all, they're your favorite band (and who wouldn't want to catch a glimpse of those gorgeous men).
They're being asked all the basic questions about the new album, which singles they'll be releasing and such. Then the interviewer asks them a different question. The interviewer asks: what's the most memorable experience you've ever had when meeting a fan?
The boys are stumped. None of them can come up with an interesting answer. However, at the last second Damon says, "Wait a minute. I've got one." He pauses. "So there was this girl..."
The others let out a chuckle
"Oh you'll want to hear this one" he says. "So the lads and I were doing a meet and greet, I can't remember when exactly, but there was this really nice looking girl and I saw her looking at me so I kind of motioned at her to come over. I gave her a hug to be polite, but as she hugged me, she let out a really loud gas."
The others break out into laughter, recalling the hilarious event.
The interviewer stares in disbelief.
"I'm serious," Damon goes on. "I guess she was very excited to finally meet us or something and she let out the loudest flatulence I've ever heard. We've ever heard."
The interviewer laughs.
"You probably squeezed her too hard, Damon," Graham says.
"No, no way," he replies. "Couldn't be me."
More laughter.

The band is having a good laugh on the Telly but you... well you're just in complete shock. You cannot believe your eyes. You cannot believe your ears. They. Told. The. Story. About. Your. Fart. Blur told the story about your fart. The embarrassing story of the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened in your short lifetime and it was told on public television. By Blur.