back again

L & J forever

We make a sharp left turn onto Jordan's road, and my head starts to hurt again as I begin to ache all over. She slows down and pulls into his driveway. I start to shake my head, breathing heavy. "Mom, no. I can't. I can't, I can't, no, mom please don't make me. No." My eyes well up and tears threaten to fall. My voice shakes as I tell her, "I can't do this."

"Okay, okay. I won't make you." My mom pats my hand reassuringly and puts the car in gear, turning the wheel. I sigh in relief and realize I did it too soon. That's when I see Jordan Lake, opening his front door.

"Stop." She slams the breaks and I open my car door.

"I'll let you handle this. Pick you up at 10:00." I nod. "Good luck baby, I love you." She looks me in my eyes as I step out of the car, Jordan advancing towards us.

"I love you too mom. See you later." I shut my door and she pulls out of the driveway, driving away and eventually turning out of sight.

I look back in Jordan's direction. He's closer, almost to me. He's smiling. Disgust fills me. The nervousness and butterflies I had felt are gone. They're replaced by anger and hate, two awful emotions. I stand there, not moving. I hate him.

I run the few steps towards him and push him as hard as I can, taking away the anger, the hate, the disgust. He stumbles a little, but regains his balance. He steps closer and tries to touch my arm, but I flinch away, angry that he's even trying to get near me. A confused look takes over his face, but I don't care. I look up at him, so sad and furious that I can barely stand. He's taller than me by at least 3 or 4 inches, even though we're both 14.

He tries to touch my cheek this time, and I let him, but I stay still. His face saddens, and it makes me feel better that he can at least feel a tiny morsel of what I'm feeling. I push him again, harder. He trips over his feet this time, hitting the ground, but immediately stands back up again, a little angry with me this time.

"What's your problem Lay!" He yells. When he says my nickname he gave me when we were 3, my heart breaks a little more, almost causing me to fall over as another wave of sadness strikes hard.

"Don't call me Lay." I say trying to keep my voice strong, but it shakes a little, and he notices.

"What's wro-" he begins, but i cut him off.

"Don't act like you care what's wrong Jordan. Please, don't do that." I almost yell, but I try to remain calm.

"At least come inside before someone calls the cops. Mom and dad are gone, they won't be back 'til tonight. Let's go to the treehouse." He says, smirking. I want to slap his face and wipe it off.

I don't answer, just push past him and head for the backyard. I catch his scent of cologne and I love it, but continue walking and pretending as if I don't care. I reach my destination under a huge palm tree with a big house thing, like a shed, under it. It's our "treehouse" we played in as kids. I step inside, not having to slouch or anything, and he's right behind me. I plop into a bean bag chair and my face crumples. I put my face in my hands and my breathing becomes ragged. It hurts. Everything. I hate this feeling. Unhappiness. I love being happy. And now I can't. It's his fault, he's horrible.

A single tear falls as I look up at Jordan. He's sitting in the other bean bag chair directly in front of me. He leans down and hugs me. I jump from his touch and scoot back farther. That hurt him, I can tell.

"Lay.. Remember how we loved this place?" He says, looking around. "It was our little hide out, just me and my favorite girl." He looks at me when he says this, and I smile. It's a sad smile.

"You're leaving. It'll never be that way again." I say, my smile disappearing.

"Don't say that, you know I'll call you. We're just moving to California, and I'll call you every day." He says, looking down.

"I live in Florida Jordan. Get real. You'll forget about me." I close my eyes. "I may be your best friend now, but when you get on that plane, we're done. We won't..." Another tear, and another, and another. "We're done, Jordan." Tear after tear, they're a waterfall now.

"Please, Layla stop. We've always been a little more than best friends. I don't care if I live in Florida or California or Texas or New York."

He stops and grabs my hand. I let him. He gazes around with his bright blue orbs until they land on my emerald green ones. They stay there, locked on the other, as if our eyes have minds of their own. As if they're mesmerized with the other person's eyes, and they could almost never stop.

"You'll always be my favorite girl."

He locks our hands, and our eyes continue to be infatuated with the other set. Green and blue go well together in my opinion. He pulls me to his bean bag and I sit beside him, our eyes never leaving the other's. At this moment, it doesn't matter the pain he's caused me, it only matters that we're here now.

His free hand gently pushes my head onto his chest and he plays with my hair, the other hand drawing circles on mine. I inhale the scent of his cologne, and I could just stay here forever. Like we could keep our love for each other in a photograph, saving it for our entire lives.

"Jordan?" I ask, looking up at him innocently, my heart literally torn in two.

"Yea Lay?" I smile once again as he looks at me so sweetly. I'll never see his eyes again, the kind you could get lost in. They're like a sea of blue and no matter how much water there is, looking into them, I could never be bored.

"Please come back for me."

The emotion in his eyes flicker from sadness to determination as he speaks.

"You could never get rid of me."