Someone Call A Doctor [DISCONTINUED]

The Interns

Meredith finally stepped up, "April whatever-your-middle-name-is Kepner! Shut up! Listen to me, you've got this. Remember, your sisters? They're bitches. You don't care what they think, even if they give you 'the stare', give it right back to them! It's on them if they don't accept you for you, it's not on you. Okay? Do you understand?" Meredith said, strangely coach-like.

April took a deep breath, "Yeah. I've got this, they're bitches."

"Yes! That's more like it!" Meredith said, then gave April a high-five.

Cristina started clapping, then went over to April before going upstairs, "You've got this, Kepner."

Alex just nodded, not really understanding what just happened, or how, and then went to the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, and wash their aroma off of me." April said, walking upstairs.

"How did you do that?" Jackson and Derek said at the same time. Meredith shrugged, then went up to bed. Jackson and Derek shared a confused look then dispersed.

2 weeks later

Derek and Meredith got married, yay! That means loud sex noises were coming from their room, which is disturbing, but everyone had to deal with it. Arizona and Alex started this sick kids from Africa thing, all April knew is it was taking a lot of time. Oh, yeah. Forgot to mention this, they're third-years! New interns were starting on this day, and each resident was going to get a class to boss around, which they were excited about. Owen and Cristina still hadn't got back together, no one really knew what was going on with them. April and Jackson were still going strong. Alex didn't have anyone significant in his life, but he thought he didn't need anyone, April thought, 'You sure about that, bud? Your nurse-screwing sex drive is gonna kick in here soon.' Madelyn and April still hadn't rekindled their relationship, either. Our day starts with the new interns getting doled out.

Cristina walked into the intern's locker room first, "Okay, who's with me? I'm Dr. Yang, for anyone who doesn't know, but who wouldn't know, I'm awesome." Five interns walked up to her, "Oh.... ugh, okay. You're one, you're two, you're three, you're four, and you're five. I have no interest in learning your names." Cristina said as she pointed to each of them.

April walked in next, "Who are my interns... let's see. Garcia, Davis, Wilson, Martin, Young. You are all with me. Follow me, don't fall behind."

Meredith walked in next, "I'm too tired to look at this damn paper, I'm Dr. Grey, who are my interns?" Five scared-looking interns raised their hands, "Well then get your asses over here and let's go. I have things to do!"

Alex walked in next, "Okay... I have no idea who my interns are. I haven't looked at the paper, so you guys are gonna have to help me out here." No one payed attention to him, "Hey!" He said with his voice raised, "Dr. Karev here, who are my interns?" Five interns scrambled up, they looked like messes, "Oh this is just great." Alex said while rolling his eyes and walking away, "Well come on! Are you guys dumb?"

Jackson walked in last, "Okay, I'm supposed to have... uh- I forgot. Harris? Is that one? King? I honestly can't remember. I'm Dr. Avery, whoever's with me, come on, I haven't had my coffee yet so you guys are gonna have to bare with me." Jackson said while walking out.

At a nurse's station

"I have 5 rules, memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not gonna change. Trauma protocols, phone list, pagers. Nurses will page you..." Meredith barked to her interns.

In a hallway, walking away from the same nurses station Meredith just arrived at.

"You will answer every page at a run. A run! That brings me to rule number two." April ordered at her interns while smiling at Meredith and walking away, "Your shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You're interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food-chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second night 'til you drop, and don't complain!"

In front of an on-call room

"On-call rooms. Attendings hog them. Sleep when you can where you can, which brings me to rule number three. If I'm sleeping, don't wake me unless your patient is actually dying." Jackson said sternly to his interns, "Rule number four..." He started, then Alex came down the hallway and was reciting the same speech to his interns and was on rule number four.

"Rule number four: The dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only will you have killed someone, you would have woke me for no good reason. We clear?" Alex said collectively to both his and Jackson's interns. Then, Cristina walked down the hallway and saw Jackson and Alex both with their interns, she was finishing the speech.

"Not only will you have killed someone, you would have woke me for no good reason. We clear?" Cristina barked, inspecting her interns closely. All of the interns were extremely confused as to why they all just heard the same speech.

Then, Lexie Grey, Cristina's intern, raised her hand. "Yes?" Cristina asked.

"That was only four rules. You said five." the young intern asked shyly.

Cristina glared at her and then looked at her fellow third-years with a very amused look on her face, "Rule number five: when I move, you move." she said, expecting for her pager to go off, but it didn't. Cristina looked down at her pager, then again, then at Jackson and Alex who were trying not to laugh, "Disperse! Go make yourselves useful, don't sit here like some... useless bugs." Cristina said while flicking her hands. Jackson and Alex also dismissed their interns.

"They looked like scared puppies." Cristina said, laughing as she watched the interns walk away.

"They were so confused." Alex said, he was laughing too.

"Were we ever that... intern-y?" Jackson asked, grimacing.

"Oh I hope not." Cristina said as she began to walk away. Then, everyone's pagers went off. The interns were down the hallway and each resident yelled, beckoning their interns to follow them.

When Cristina, Alex, Jackson, and their interns arrived in the ER, they saw Meredith and April were already there.

"Huge trauma coming in. Multiple burn victims, multiple penetrating injuries, sounds like a bloodbath." April said excitedly as she tied her trauma gown on, "Okay, I don't need all of you. Wilson, come with me. Martin, go into trauma two and wait to help with that patient. Garcia, Young, and Davis, help wherever you can." April ordered.

"Three, come with me. Everyone else, make yourselves useful." Cristina ordered. Everyone else got their interns in order and went to go wait for the ambulances. There were 6 attendings outside, 5 residents, and 3 interns.

The interns were talking amongst themselves, "Shut up." Cristina said, turning to the interns. April laughed at her actions. Then, the first two ambulances arrived. April and her intern, and Cristina and her intern rushed over to it. It was a penetrating injury to the chest, and right when Cristina saw it, she yelled, "Mine! Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!!"

"Okay, then." April said, going over to the other ambulance, it was a huge burn and a penetrating injury to the abdomen, "Oh, my God! This one's mine!" April called, making her intern follow her. Three other ambulances arrived and the other residents got a patient, with the help of attendings of course. When Meredith got her patient, she saw Cristina's intern 'Three' walk up to her.

"I uh- Meredith? Dr. Grey?" the intern asked nervously.

"What? I need to get inside, move." Meredith insisted.

"I-I'm Lexie."

"That's great, now move." Meredith said urgently.

"Grey. I'm Lexie Grey, your sister." Lexie said, nervously. Meredith looked at her with a blank expression, she looked like she had just seen a ghost.

Apparently Alex overheard their conversation and said, "Are you serious? Another Grey? Wow."

"Shut it, Karev." Meredith said, and those were seemingly the only words she could get out of her mouth.