Chapter 5

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Dear Maid Mori chan

Since I heard your voice, I am in love with it. I will rescue you from the princess' fangs so that your perfection can join my small troop. I swear, you never have to cook, manicure the Princess or wash her clothes. Brother Tomo will do all this things from now on, ... trust me.

On the upcoming walk, after the Sunday church service, I will take you to the woods of Nothing Helps. Don't be afraid, I am very handsome and carefully.
Waiting for you with anticipation and devotion,


Torin Hood

Mori had to read the words three times through, in order to grasp the content correctly. Firstly, the writing was to be equated to that of a toddler, secondly, here was the biggest bullshit ever. There was no way he would let himself be poisoned or give someone else his underwear to wash. And last but not least, who in this damn kingdom still didn't know that HE, maid Mori chan, was not a woman?

"Well, there it is ... in black and white, ... Torin Hood, the hero of the poor," he stated soberingly, shaking his curly head slightly in disgust, thinking of the creepy caricature on the wanted poster. Just the thought of it made him anxious. What reputation did this maniac have, anyway? Wasn't he the reason for the princess's bad mood a week ago?' he continued to think. Because he was the one who had to take the blame. The noble Johanna let out all her frustration on Mori chan and he didn't really know why. For the time being, he couldn't either, since the princess didn't mention with a syllable that Torin's visit was actually meant for the "girl for everything".

So he put the yellowed piece of paper back into the envelope and tore the letter into many small pieces to make it impossible for anyone to put it back together.

"Never in my life will I take even one step into the forest. ... Pha, why should I give up my job? Does he first believe that I will set up camp in the wilderness? Possibly in a cave?" He laughed disparagingly. "No, ... you won't get me! I'd rather lock myself in the tower and be guarded." With a relieved sigh, Mori tossed the snippets into the basket. Then he wiped his hands on his trouser legs, returned his attention to his papers, and pretended that the matter was thus settled.

At least he tried, scolding himself for not constantly gawking at the little paper snippets and for having that stupid wanted poster on his mind. That bearded scoundrel, with the big eyes and the ... soft mouth. "Uhhh ..." Mori got goosebumps. "What did it say in that scrawly writing? He's going to be very tender?! ... "Lord God again! Can't anything rid me of these thoughts?" he complained loudly, ruffling his hair and getting an answer right away, too.

"Maid Mori chan! Hello, where are you?" he heard his mistress's voice call out, and at that his mood of the day finally sank to zero. He puffed in surrender. 'Calm down and be strong, Mori. Never bite the hand that feeds you', he said to himself in his mind and tried to smile.

"Dear princess, I have just dismissed my students. Give me a short break," he requested politely but firmly.

"Why so bad-tempered?" she purred, rocking her massive body back and forth. "My dear Mori, I merely wanted to ask you to take a walk with me through the adjacent forest on Sunday. What do you think of it? ... I think after going to church it would suit best," she made him a seductive offer.

"A what? ... And ... where? ... No, that ... is impossible," he stammered, and his gaze involuntarily wandered again to the wastebasket. She just laughed, stood next to him and nudged him with her hips, almost making the lanky man lose his balance.

"I'm sure it will be delightful," and then she danced dreamily around her Maid Mori chan as if she hadn't even heard his objection.

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