Big Bang Theory : The Twins

The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Scene: The apartment, Leonard is attaching something to a lamp.

Leonard: Okay, the X10s are online.

Howard: Gentlemen, I am now about to send a signal from this laptop through our local ISP, racing down fibre-optic cable at the speed of light to San Francisco, bouncing off a satellite in geosynchronous orbit to Lisbon, Portugal, where the data packets will be handed off to submerged transatlantic cables terminating in Halifax, Nova-Scotia, and transferred across the continent via microwave relays back to our ISP and the X10 receiver attached to this (clicks mouse, lamp switches on) lamp. (The others cheer and clap).

Sheldon: Look at me, look at me, I've got goosebumps.

Howard: Are we ready on the stereo?

Raj: Go for stereo.

(Howard clicks mouse again. Also Sprach Zarathustra begins to play. At the climactic notes, the four jump in the air and begin pretend conducting or jumping about in time to the music.)

Penny (entering): Hey guys.

All (calming down, embarrassed): Hello.

Penny: It's a little loud.

Howard: No problem, turning it down. (Using mouse again) San Francisco, Lisbon, Halifax (the music gets quieter) et voila.

Penny: Okay, thanks.

Leonard: Hang on, hang on, do you not realise what we just did.

Penny: Yeah, you turned your stereo down with your laptop.

Sheldon: No, we turned our stereo down by sending a signal around the world via the internet.

Penny: Oh. You know you can just get one of those universal remotes at Radio Shack, they're really cheap.

Leonard: No, no, no, you don't get it, um, Howard, enable public access.

Howard: Public access enabled. (They all stare around for a moment in silence.)

Penny: Boy, that's brilliant, but I'll see you.

Leonard: No, hang on, hang on. (The lamp goes off and on again.) See!

Penny: No.

Sheldon: Someone in Sezchuan province, China is using his computer to turn our lights on and off.

Penny: Huh, well that's handy. Um, here's a question, why?

All together: Because we can. (There is a loud noise)

Sheldon: They found the remote controlled cars.

Penny: Well, wait, wait, what's on top of them.

Leonard: Wireless webcams, wave hello.

Howard: The monster truck is out of Austin, Texas, and the blue Viper is being operated from suburban Tel Aviv.

Sheldon: You may want to put on slacks.

Penny: What? (Seeing red car is trying to get between her legs) Ew, stop it, no, leave me alone.

Leonard: Who's running the red Corvette?

Howard: That would be me.

Credits sequence

Scene: The same, clearing up.

Sheldon: You know, in the future, when we're disembodied brains in jars, we're going to look back on this as eight hours well wasted.

Raj: I don't want to be in a jar. I want my brain in an android body. Eight feet tall and ripped.