[誓願] 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 | 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘢 𝘳. 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘢𝘭𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 | 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

this was a alternative ending i had of this fanfic, it will be the continuation of 'still lost?' anyway hope you enjoy this ending!

!tw! suicide is mention so be warned!

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

previously...
'ok ok, ignore the voice. i mean this is it! we'll finally meet again suna rintarō! i miss your presence and your warm voice. and maybe we can fulfil that promise we made years ago?'

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

you put on the outfit you've been saving for, days you've spent preparing the perfect outfit. it's been so long since you've seen everybody. once you were done you were expecting to see a warm reception, everyone chatting and laughing about old times. and of course the suna rintarō.

but instead it was cold and gloomy. when you came down it was like they were avoiding your gaze, they just stared down at their glass cups. you try to greet them, but they only respond with awkward hello and hi. the tension was thick and cold, not warm and cheery like it was in the morning. you looked around and... no sign of rintarō.

'm-maybe he's stuck in traffic! yeah...why else would he not be here?'

the whole night was filled with nervous glances at you, a few small talk, and their eyes...it was dull and filled with sadness. they all wore black.

'was there a dress code to the party?'

hours passed and you grew angsty, 'where was rin? isn't he supposed to be here? it's been years...i thought he'd show up...'

"u-uhm where's rintarō?"

they all jolted, still avoiding your gaze, acting as if they didn't here you, but their eyes softened when they finally made eye contact with you, some had tears threatening their eyes

atsumu sighed and took your hand, "there's no point in hiding it! suna loved them. i'm sure your already suspicious, right y/n?!" everyone only looked down, atsumu was shaking, tears almost fell. he dragged you to the back, so you two were alone. 'what's happening? why are they acting so werid?! shouldn't they be happy? shouldn't rintarō be here too?'

...

days passed, you left osamu shop, and stayed in a hotel. you didn't want to be near anyone. you wanted be alone, not wanting anyone's help, and yet you wanted some to sit next to you. to comfort you, embracing yourself in their warmth. but instead you sat alone in the cold dark room, just like years ago. alone and suffering all by yourself, wanting help but pushing them away or lying to them when do come to help you.

atsumu told me...
why you weren't there
why you never wrote back
so was that why everyone was so gloomy? why their eyes told a sad story?

why did you have to do it? what happened? what were you hiding?

you made that promise to have a reason to live, huh?

but i took to long. those six years you've waited, you were probably dying. suffering from all that pain and emotion, and having to push it deep down, bottling it up so no one would notice. until it all just was unbearable. and when you waited enough, you decided to...

"what's the point of living anymore? the person i was living for. he's gone. haha." tears ran down your cold puffy face, crying was the only thing that made you feel "alive". pouring out so many emotions and it being a new routine to your life.

pulling yourself in close, weeping again, when realization hit."oh he's gone. he's gone forever. please you could've taken me! not him! please he had so much to live for! he was supposed to playing volleyball! on the court! he had so much to live for! i had nothing! i was just a waste of space. so why didn't you just take me?"

you visited his memorial, where the broken boy laid 6 feet under, resting for eternity. his tomb was simple, new flowers were placed and incense slowly burned. his name craved on the cold stone

"suna rintarō, such a beautiful name for a broken soul..."

why didn't you tell me rin? why didn't you tell the team? we could've helped, and you didn't have to take your final breath like this.

i always took you as the silent strong type, but i guess you were suffering, huh? how long have you had to endure this pain? did it hurt? not telling anyone and having to fight it yourself. i-if i would've stayed, if i wasn't so blind, i could've helped you! i could've stolen the hours you spent suffering and helped.

please forgive me rintarō. i'm sorry i didn't help you. i'm sorry i never notice your pain. the sad look in your eyes. i spent hours staring into those green orbs...a trap those were. please forgive me.

i love you so much