𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵?

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you woke up to hear chattering and the sounds of things hitting each other from downstairs, 'i could only assume the store is open with all that noise.' you rose from the bed and gathered up your morning routine essentials.

the window was fogged up, but the view was beautiful, much different from america. "hm looks chilly today, i should get ready, maybe i can help osamu"

you get yourself ready and wear warm clothes, and laid in bed for a bit longer. you heard the loud ruckus from downs stairs so you went down to see the little shop packed and orders being yelled out. the people wore warm clothes to fit the winter atmosphere.

"ah morning y/n! sorry if it's a bit loud, go ahead and walk around the city, yeah? i'll text ya when it gets less packed!" you turn to see osamu making onigiri with a few others behind him, getting orders done. it had a nice bed warm atmosphere, osamu chatting with the customers and some couples gossiping in the cold winter day.

doing what osmau suggested, and you decided to breath in the air and reminisce on old times. then remembering the boy that you were yearning for, and the promise you two made. that was the only thing keeping you motivated to get through school. when times were rough because of the new surroundings, having to learn a new language, and the stress of school, you look through old photos to keep the pain from sinking in. it made you so happy when you heard rintaro say those words.

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆   。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

hours passes by, and you passed by the shop about to go in, but you look into the fogged up window of miya onigiri, and saw how packed it still was. so you walked away and continued to blindly walk around. you were proud to see osamu's risky dream be so successful, but what about you? everyone is out there chasing their dreams, busy with life, while here you are. nothing to do. no passion. no talent. nothing. but at least you were loved. 'at least some one cares for me'

the city was as beautiful as you remembered, the tall buildings piercing the clouds, the sound of shoes tapping on the streets as the busy people live their little life. you look around and wondered what others were doing with life, were they chasing their dreams? or doing work they were told to when they were young? we're they passionate about it? 'even after finishing school what will i do now? look at everyone. they're living their life and know what to do. ugh i don't know what to do. what do i do? i-i'm lost. after all those years, im still lost.' the thoughts kept sinking in, the feeling of being helpless and lost rushed through. everything started getting dizzy, the people walking away turning a blind eye to the helpless body swaying while walking. the buildings you thought were beautiful caved in. 'how? how could i be so helpless? help. please help. i'm lost. i-i need you rintarō! what would you do? i'm so dumb. after all those years, was i just working hard in school for nothing? why didn't i just stay?'

as you were blindly wandering around the city. the thoughts would continue to create itself. the feeling you were trying to push away for so long, came back, crashing like waves along a shore. hours passed by, the sun began to drift away, as the dark sky's let itself in.

"so your still lost?"

"huh? who- who said that?"

you looked crazy, turning your body in every direction to figure out whose voice it belonged to. but nothing. just people staring at you as they walk away.

"it's ok. you'll find your self soon, right? haha who are we kidding. your useless. i mean six years thrown away. a scholarship that could've gone to someone more useful. but no it went to an idiot who doesn't even know that their doing. pathetic. you could've just stayed back, instead of leaving them. leaving rintarō. who knows maybe he left you? and if he did, it's your fault. you KNEW school was useless. you were never good at anything. you just did it because some one told you to. like everyone does. you-"

ring ring

"h-hey osamu"

"heya you can come back now, i need your help with getting ready tonight, see ya in a bit ok? you doing ok? i mean you were out for a while, and you kinda sound. sad?"

"o-oh haha yeah i'm fine. just thinking to myself, but i- i uh guess time just flew by. anyway see ya in a bit, ok?"

nervous and paranoia rushed in, washing away all the other thoughts and feeling. you felt scared, that voice knew exactly where to hurt you. it was like it knew you

'ok ok, ignore the voice i mean this is it! we'll finally meet again suna rintarō! i miss your presence and your warm voice. and maybe we can fulfill that promise we made years ago?'

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆   。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

your heart beats faster, as your cheeks begin to get warm in the chilly air. the thought of him made you feel relief and safe, knowing that you'll finally be with him after the long years apart, and do what what you two promised years ago. to tie the knot, and spend the rest of eternity together

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