Bittersweet

Bittersweet: Chapter Twenty-Eight

 THIS BOOK IS CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN AND HEAVILY EDITED. NAMES, PLACES, AND SOME SCENES WILL BE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. SOME STUFF WILL BE TAKEN OUT AND SOME WILL BE ADDED.

THE INITIAL PLOT STAYS THE SAME.

So, if you begin reading as of 5/21/2021 and choose to read ahead further than I have updated-some things might be confusing or might not make sense. As of right now and will continue, slowly, adding the new chapters as I write them. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT has been rewritten & updated.

**IF A CHAPTER HAS BEEN REWRITTEN/EDITED THE ^^ABOVE^^ NOTE WILL BE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Eliza

My resolve was waning. Rapidly.

He was doing everything right and it damn near killed me knowing that I had to push him away for his own good. Because that was the only thing I could do. I'd tried the alternative and it was a significant fail.

Truth be told, I knew the moment we pulled into the clinic's parking lot that it wasn't going to happen-that all of this had been pointless. Regardless, I told myself that I owed it to everyone around me to at least try.

Try, I did.

And failed. Although, I won't lie and say that I wasn't able to breathe a little easier knowing that it was a wash. Because I could. When I finally concluded that it wasn't going to happen, I felt a weight lift off my chest.

The moment our baby's heartbeat filled my ears was the moment I realized how wicked my intentions were-how selfish I was being. It hit me like a ton of bricks. What was I thinking? Maybe I thought going through with it would help me gain back some control over my life. All it did was make me realize how little I had. Somehow, I was already at the mercy of a baby the size of a raspberry that already began forming a little nose and lips. Yeah, I had read that in one of the baby magazines in the waiting room.

A freaking raspberry.

I was growing life in my tummy. Holy shit.

Mama used to tell me that a new baby was a blessing. A miracle. A gift from God. As soon as I heard that heartbeat? I accepted it. Not only that, but I believed it.

God wanted me to be a mother.

And that's what I was going to be. Everyone else? Be damned.

It might take daddy a little time to come around, but he would. Eventually. Ava? Initially, she was concerned. Very concerned. Especially when they called her back to help get me calmed down. Technically, they called it a panic attack. Perhaps my mama bear instincts came about a little too strongly because I freaked out when the doctor came into the small room and asked me if I was ready to proceed with sedation. I don't know if I had ever been so happy than I was the moment I saw Ava bolt into that room, ready to take down anyone that harmed me. She held me for the longest time. The doctors and nurses gave us a moment and I didn't waste any time telling her that I couldn't go through with it.

Austin, however, was a different story. Part of me no longer wanted him to come around. At least, that's what I told myself. It would be easier if he didn't. I quickly decided that I had no other choice than to get through this, but he did.

There was no question about whether I loved him. I did, even if he had hurt me when I was at my lowest. Which was why as soon as I opened my eyes to find him tangled up in the sheets with me, I knew I had to make a decision. I had to do what was best for both of us. Letting him off the hook, as much as I didn't want to believe it, was the most practical idea I could produce.