MATE AND HIS LOVER 5

11. A good cry

I knew right away, from the look on the doctor's face when I handed her my phone saying Cole wants to speak to her, that she would do the bidding. After Cole talked to her over the phone she immediately started treating Nina.

Before the actual treatment, however, Nina had to be tested for the composition of the drugs in her system. That took a little time.

Only when Nina is hooked up on a concoction of more drugs to counteract the effects of the ones she took, I begin to relax. I wait in a chair by her side.

After a few minutes I see Cole come in. "How's she?" he says.

He didn't have to come. But I'm happy to see his face.

"She's doing good. That's what they said. They said she'll wake up by tomorrow."

"Good," he says. We both leave the room to talk outside.

"You know how she ended up there, like this?" he asks.

I shake my head. "I'll ask her once she's up."

"Let me know what she says."

I nod. "Thanks for earlier. If you hadn't helped she would've been in a lot of trouble."

"She's not the only one who could've been in trouble. What were you thinking going there by yourself to pick her up? You should have called me, or Rick at least!"

"Rick would get upset."

"You should have called me then, before driving there by yourself."

"I didn't want to trouble you."

"It's a little late for that," he mumbles to himself. I pretend not to hear him.

"Have you had dinner yet?" he asks. I shake my head. Now that he mentions food, I feel hungry.

He takes me to a cafeteria nearby and orders me spaghetti with tomato and chili, my favorite. After I diligently finish the plate he walks me back to the hospital. He drops me at the side entrance and turns to leave when I call out to him.

He turns back and looks at me, waiting for me to say why I called him.

And just like the million times it'd happened before, I don't have an answer. I don't know why I keep calling him. I just don't want him to leave.

"Can you stay a little longer?" I ask.

He pockets his hands. "Why?"

"Because I want you to," I say.

He gives a small laugh. "Because you want me to, huh? Only you would make me do things just because you want me to."

I smile. When we hung out in secret, we mostly did things only I wanted to do. Like watch old movies, or see a geek convention. He complied every time without complaining.

"I remember watching 'My Fair Lady' a thousand times with you," he says.

I laugh. I can't believe I forgot about it. I did really make him do that. When it was just us two, I loved being with him. "It's not my fault you were a good movie partner."

"A good movie partner in private," he corrects in a bitter tone.

My smile fades away.

"I was such a fool," he says, "I thought you didn't want us to be seen together in public because you were just being shy. But in truth, I was your embarrassing secret."

I fight the tears threatening to form in my eyes. He continues, "I used to think about the day I would show you off to everyone as my mate. Of the day I would become the Alpha and you, my Luna."

The held back tears escape. He pulls me in. "Now what's this supposed to mean? What do these tears mean, Daisy? What I'm supposed to do when I see those tears? I have someone at my side now. Someone who wants with her all to be my mate.

So tell me, what am I doing here? What am I doing here with you? And you? You left me, threw me away. So what are you doing trying to make me stay? What are we both doing here, Daisy?" Cole says, shaking me.

"I don't know, Cole. I don't know. I don't want to hurt you. Didn't mean to. I just— I just—"

"Do you want to stay as my mate now? Do you want to be mine forever?" he asks in a false hope.

I look at him in remorse. He gets my answer and gives a bitter laugh. "So you don't want to remain my mate, but you still want me. How does that work, Daisy?"

"It's not just about being your mate, Cole. You're not just any guy. You're the Alpha of this pack. And I'm a human! How do you think everyone will react if I became the pack's Luna?"

"Who cares? Who cares what anyone thinks? You should be looking at me, Daisy. I'm hurting here without you. Is what others think more important to you than me?"

I give him a sad smile. "Spoken truly like someone who can never understand what I feel. You didn't grow up like me, Cole, as a human in a werewolf pack with a Beta father and a Beta brother. Everyone puts you in a pedestal and worship whereas they just tolerate me for my family's sake."

"You're right," he says, "I don't know how you felt growing up. But I'll tell you one thing, Daisy. You don't know what it feels like having your heart ripped out either. I wish you'd just rejected me right away when we found out we were mates instead of letting me spend time with you, letting me see what it feels like to have you as my mate, letting me fuck you, letting me think about you every second of every day. Why did you do that?"

I couldn't bring myself to reject him when I first sensed our bond. It felt special and he felt special.

"No," Cole says, "I shouldn't do this. I can't hurt Bianca like you hurt me. Forget what I said earlier about calling me. Don't ever contact me, Daisy. I won't hurt her."

After he leaves, I come back to Nina's hospital room for a good cry.