Helena Lavander Pierre's POV
Cal me Fallen. People used to call me that name, because I'm deadpan gorgeous. Just kidding. Anyway, they just feel to call me that way so. They said that I'm like an angel that catches every man to fall. Hell no! I'm not a woman to have a life for love. For an infatuations and for whatever romances that falls to the word 'love'. At bakit nga pala ako napasama dito sa kwentong ito? Is it because I had my failures too? No, I guess there is more reason why I am here.
"Life is such a big failure. We have a world that needs a big isolation that every people makes the things completely complicated that is not supposed to be.
We are in the third world that poverty grows very fast. That no more jobs for new generations. Poor people.
..."
"Argh! This is really sick."
People sucks. "College sucks. Literature sucks. This essay sucks." I murmured as I'd stared at my notebook very blankly. Ang sakit lang sa bangs mag-isip ng isusulat.
"Helena... Helena... " someone is calling me from behind and I thought if I'm going to ignore her she'll going to stop calling my name annoyingly, cause I'm trying to concentrate for more paragraphs on this piece of shit. But she's really want to get into my nerves.
"Hey Helena! May sasabihin lang ako." and now she's on my left side. I turned up and my eyebrows crossed, "Would you please shut your mouth, mind your own monkey business, and get out all of this crap?" I irritatingly said it to her. "Okay fine Helena. No, Fallen... I'm..." I cut her off. "Kung ano man gusto mong sabihin please lang wag ngayon.... Ang sakit na ng ulo ko.." I'm going to walk out. I'm tired. I'm sick. Argh!
"Wait lang kasi."
"Ehh ano ba yun?" I said to her.
"Ano ginagawa mo dito sa puno? Ano yan diary?" sabi niya habang tinitignan ang notebook ko.
"Namamahinga at nag-iisip ng maisusulat sa lecheng essay na 'to. Ikaw ba? Ang ano mo naman eh. Panggulo ka." sabi ko. Sumandal ako ulit sa puno. "Ano kasi eh... May papakilala sana kasi ako sayo para naman hindi ka na laging nakamukmok diyan sa sulok at paemo-emo lagi." she lean on in the tree like I did. "I don't have a crap to meet new people I'm busy of my own life. And I'm suck, stucked on this piece of shit of an essay." I said to her while I tried to calm myself and close my eyes for a while.
"Hmm! Hindi naman ako broken hearted para ipakilala mo sa mga tao dyan sa paligid. They're all sick." I paused.
"Ayy.. Alam mo kasi napapansin ko parang lagi kang malungkot at isa tumutulong lang ako." she said. Okay? What's another shit is this? Tumulong? For what?
Gusot mukha ko siyang tiningnan. "Para saan?" tipid kong sagot.
"Para hindi ka na mukhang malungkot. At least kung may makakausap ka sa tuwing nalulungkot.." patuloy pa rin siyang nagsasalita at ako nama'y nakataas kilay nang nakatitig sa kanya. "...alam kong pwede mo naman akong kausapin pero iba pa rin kapag bagong kakakilala mo lang."
"Ilang beses ko ba dapat sabihin sayo na HINDI KO KAILANGAN NG BAGONG KAKILALA?" tanong ko sa kanya.
Ito na ang personalidad na meron ako. Ayoko ng maraming kakilala, ayokong nilalapitan ng maraming gustong makipagkaibigan. Kung may tunay na kaibigan ay kadalasan iyon ay ang sarili. Patuloy pa rin sa pagdadaldal ang kasama ko sa ilalim ng puno. And I'm just trying to ignore her. Wala rin siyang nagawa kundi manahamik nang hindi na ako sumasagot sa kanya.
"Pagtingala sa lahat ay kapayapaan.
Huni ng ibon'y kay lamig sa kalooban.
Bawat pagaspas nila'y kalayaan.
Mataas na lipad at walang humpay na kasiyahan."
