Real or Fake (Kyman fanfic)

Take 1

After school, Kyle texted his mom he would arrive home late and started walking to the coffee shop. After a while, he made it and was surprised that Cartman was there first. "He probably rode the local bus here." Kyle thought. "Hello, jew." Cartman said bluntly. "Let's just get this over with." Kyle sighed. They both entered and ordered their drinks. Kyle got a hot chocolate and a croissant. Cartman got a coffee with cream and a piece of strawberry cake. They found a table and sat down in silence. "So, you know about the bet?" Kyle asked. Cartman took a bite of his cake. "Mmhm." Cartman hummed. "Good. Look." Kyle said as he pulled out a piece of paper out of his pocket. A bunch of names like "Sweetheart" and "Honey" were written down. "These are the options of pet names to give each other in order to make it believable." Kyle stated. "Why can't I just call you "jew" like I always do?" Cartman asked. "That's not a pet name, it's an insult." Kyle said bluntly. "We won't have to use pet names when it's just the two of us and we will stay together at all times." Kyle said, taking a sip of his drink. "And we can't fight, like, physically." Kyle said. "Ugh, why did you make so many rules?" Cartman sighed, rolling his eyes. "These are necessary in order to make it seem real, fatass." Kyle said, his voice raising. "Okay. No need to raise your voice, Kahl." Cartman said and went back to eating. They sat in silence for a while until Kyle spoke. "Well, It's saturday tomorrow, Are you going to be free?" Kyle asked. "Yeah. I mostly sit around my house anyway." Cartman shrugged. Cartman took a forkful of cake and put it out for Kyle. "Do....do you want a bite?" Cartman asked. Kyle's heart began beating a lot and he blushed. "Um...I'm diebetic,remember?" Kyle stuttered. "I know, I.....I-I ordered a sugar free cake...." Cartman said. He looked away shyly, still holding out the fork. "Really!? Okay." Kyle said. He slowly sat on his knees and took a bite. "It's pretty good!" Kyle smiled. Cartman put his hand on his stomach. "Why do I feel weird? Did I eat something bad?" Cartman thought.