My Sister's Keeper

32

to the reviewer who said this should've been merder--- i LOVE merder, but unfortunately derek dying is a big part of meredith's story, one that makes her who she is. mer will NOT be ending up with deluca though, that's for sure.

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I would definitely call myself a runner, an expert at running. My mother ran away to have my sister, and then I ran away when the love of my life died, and I found out I was pregnant with his child. And that's only running away physically. Running away mentally, I'd say, is even scarier.

You're still physically there, but you aren't there. Pieces of you start falling away and shattering when they hit the ground. Your feet aren't running away, but the parts of your soul you thought would never leave start running away. I've felt myself slip away more times than I could count—as people I loved ran away—sometimes by choice, sometimes not.

The one thing I can say with complete certainty is that running away does not solve your problems. It genuinely will not make you happy. The only thing is might give you is time to find your way back. The only way running will make you happy is if you run away from the past, and run towards a future, something physical, someone that makes you believe a happier future is possible.

It's terrifying watching a kid try to run away because she feels like she has nowhere to run to.

Meredith wanted to say she was worried. She was. But between the wild ride with Nathan and helping Alex, Cassie fell into the back of her mind, occasionally coming up as a point of worry. She knew she should've called Joel, but Cassie made it clear that she didn't love him the way she loved her. The rapist running through the hospital had been resolved by the time the three of them had gotten there, Edwards and a piece of the building blowing up aside. She'd found Nathan in the parking lot, embracing him, wishing that it was her true love coming back from the dead.

"If it were Derek, I would already be gone."

She hugged him, watching him run away to reunite with the love of his life. The words hummed in her mind. That was her silent goodbye to Nathan, to whatever they'd been doing. To having an 'affair' with him on a plane, to spilling out her feelings about Lexie dying on a plane and her daughter that she wanted to give a life.

"How was your plane crash?"

"I told you it was bad. There were six of us that went up, five came back, and now three of us are still alive."

"Cassie's mom."

She turned to look at him. "Yeah. My kid sister Lexie. I loved her. And now I have Cassie, and she's leaving for college in a month, and..."

"I get it now. Why you're so protective—of Maggie, of Cassie. You don't want to lose them too. They'll both be fine, you know."

She'd enjoyed having him around, and then Cassie left for college and she couldn't help but feel worried. And she'd pulled away, not intentionally, but because that was what she did when she could feel something bad happening.

She'd waited for Megan Hunt's plane, tried to find out where Alex and Jo had ended up, and went to sit with Edwards for a few minutes.

She couldn't even be mad or upset about Nathan's dead true love coming back from the dead when she was worried about Cassie and Alex and Jo. She eventually made her way up to meet Megan Hunt and found herself sitting in one of the chairs while Owen and Nathan left for a few minutes.

"Meredith?"

She eventually realized Megan had been calling out to her for a while now. "Yes? Sorry."