new beginnings // nick.austin

Part 25 :)

oh shit i lied, there's more

Nick's POV:

I was half asleep and needed her by my side, but she was gone, the one person i need, the only thing i needed was gone, dead, and there was nothing i could do about it. Nothing i could say, or do to change the fact that i would never get the change to see her again, that i would never be able to hold her in my arms and tell her how much i love her.
Slowly drifting in and out of consciousness, i began to hear a faint voice, i thought it was just a side effect from the pain meds but it sounded to real, to believe. I tried to focus on the voice, to make it out, to figure out who was talking to me and why, who and why was someone taking to me. I focused on the voice more, i recognised it, it made me feel safe and happy, but who was it. wait this can't be real. It's her, her voice softy speaking in my ear, it was angelic. But how can it be her, she's gone. I listened closer to what she was saying

y/n: Don't think for a second that i'm in heaven, i'm here with you and everyone else. I will always be with you. I was unbelievably lucky to spend my last days with you, even though we argued and fought, please don't forgot those moments because i know that i won't. It breaks my heart to have to say goodbye, if it's half as sad for you as it is for me, and i can only hope that it isn't. I know that if you stop for a second and look hard enough, i'll be there, you'll see me, i know you will.

I tried to do what she said, even though there was no way she was really speaking to me, i needed to at least try, just in case i get to see her for even a second. I opened my tired eyes as much as they would let me and looked over to where the voice was coming from.

There she was, the outline of her next to me, it was a shadow but i knew it was her, she really was looking over me, and she really was here. To weak to speak or move anymore, i sat and admired her trying not to think too deeply about how she was here, just trying my best to enjoy the moment with her.

y/n: I love you more than words could even begin to explain, i don't think i ever said it to you but i do, i love you so so so much. But for now i have to say one last thing. I'll see you soon teddy bear, goodbye

wait, what? goodbye, no please no, please don't leave me again, i cant do it.

I tried opened my eyes wider in desperation, she cant leave, she only just got here. I kept trying and trying to open them trying to open my mouth for let out even the slightest peep of noise, but nothing.

COME ON, DO SOMETHING, GOD DAMN IT

I did everything i could, using all the energy i had left in me. It took everything, but i did it. I opened my eyes and let out one small sound.

nick: y/n

I know it wasn't much but it had to have been enough. I hoped it was enough.

Y/N'S POV:

nick: y/n

I stopped in my tracks when i heard a faint voice speak my name with pain and hurt yet an element of elegance. I turned and faced the source of the voice, nick, laying on his bed, weak but strong enough. I looked at him, wandering if he could see me or not and how he was feeling in this very moment. I hurt to look at him in so much pain, i knew that i caused this pain.
But i couldn't do anything about it now, nothing at all. So i turned and walked away, out the door. As i walked out the room i noticed a bright light at the end of the corridor, confused with slight knowledge of what was happening, i walked towards a bright light. As i got closer and closer, the silhouette of a tall man grew more clear with every step that i took. He seemed familiar but i couldn't figure it out, who could he be?
The sense of familiarity increased as did the understanding of the memories i was suddenly remembering. He was there. In the memories. Wait. Could it... It can't be. It's been so long. Too long.
I walked closer trying to remember what he had looked like all those years ago, so i could compare him from then to now. He looked exactly the same. Now in front of him, i took a look up at the man from my memories, he looked down at me with a smile on his face but with hidden pain. I needs to speak. So i did.
It had been 16 years. It took courage and a lot of it but finally i let out a single word. Just one

y/n: Dad?

His smile grew as he nodded slightly and put his arms out for me to hug him. With tears in my eyes i ran towards him leaped into his arms never wanting to let go, never wanting this moment to end. I sobbed in his arms finally feeling safe and at home.

dad: i missed you so much, but you have to realise something

Still tears flowing from my eyes i looked up at the man i hadn't seen in so long

dad: this isn't you're time, you have got to go back

y/n: but i can't, i ca-

dad: no, you can. listen, the person who completes suicide does one but those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moment and understand...why? Suicide may end the chance of life getting worse for you but it makes everyone else's life a lot more painful, you leaving everyone eliminates the possibility of everyone's life getting any better, no matter how bad or good it was in the beginning. Place your hand over your heart...can you feel it? This is called purpose. You're alive for a reason so never, ever, ever give up. okay? When you feel like giving up, stop, breathe and remember why you've held on for so long. I love you, remember that

y/n: i love you too but i can't go back, it's too much, i just keep letting everyone down, it just, i just, i can't

dad: i've been watching over you for years, seeing all the things you've been through, everything anyone had ever done to you, no matter how horrific and traumatising, you got through it. You got through it for so long, so please if you want to show me you really love me, don't say that you would die for me, instead stay alive for me. Please. I'm begging you, to stay alive, to go back

y/n: but it's too painful to see everyone, they all think i'm dead, if they find out i'm alive what will they do, it will all be too much for everyone and i'll try again because i'm weak and i can't handle things, i just can't-

dad: go back

y/n: but

dad: i love you and i would nothing more than to spend more time with you, to get to know you better but this isn't your time, i need to go back and live your life. It doesn't matter if you leave the state, the country, anything, change your name, change your hair do anything, i will be right beside you the whole time, i promise

y/n: ok, i'll do it... i love you

dad: i love you, i'll see you soon

He gave me a single kiss on the forehead, i looked up at him to remember what he looked like. I turned around, tears running down my face, not bothering to clear them up i kept walking. Walking away from him, the light fading away from behind me, when the light seemed gone i finally turned around, there was nothing, nothing but a hospital hallway. I realised where i was and opened the door in front of me "room 216". Stepping into the room slowly, i looked over at the hospital bed, seeing myself in such a state. It was saddening, and difficult to look at but i knew what i had to do, what to do to fulfil my dads wishes. I moved towards my body and stood next to the bed looking down at myself in physical form. Taking a second to breathe just like he said to, i closed my eyes and let my soul enter my body...

A/N

hey, it's me the author of whatever this book has become.
First i would just like to say a giant thank you for all the support i've gotten while writing this, so this isn't the end i'm still writing it.
Second, i'm going to be going back and editing some parts of the story to make it better and fit my new writing style more so yeah.
Third, i'm not sure when the next chapter will be maybe next weekend? i'm not sure but please be patient, a lot is happening for everyone. Also please give me feedback on the chapters to help me make them better for you guys.
But thank you for reading this chapter and also thank you for 17k reads, means so much so thank you again, see ya soon, byeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

Word Count: 1631 ♥