The One: Maxon

Chapter 34

*severe language warning*

"I found Kriss in the hall and I was just coming to announce my choice to the both of you before the cameras came. Now, it seems that there are other things to discuss," I said with edge in my voice. "Kriss would you mind heading back to your room? Quietly?" She unhooked her arm and scurried away. I had never felt this kind of anger before. I was so mad that I my hands were shaking. All the pieces were falling into place.

"I fucking knew it," I spat. "I told myself that I was crazy, that I was imagining things because surely, surely you would have told me if I was right. I gave you so many opportunities, god." I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't believe I didn't trust myself. That I trusted you!" I said gesturing toward America.

"From the first meeting, I knew. I saw the way you looked at him, how distracted you were. The note on the wall, the damn bracelet you wore with the uniform button, all the times I thought I had you and then suddenly lost you again and again...it was you," I said turning toward Leger.

"Your Majesty, this is all my fault. I pursued her. She made it perfectly clear that she didn't want anyone but you, but I went after her anyway," he said, trying to protect her. That just made me angrier. I walked up to him, right up to his face.

"What's your name? Your first name?" I growled.

"Aspen," he said swallowing.

"Aspen Leger," I said slowly and bitterly, "Get out of my sight before I send you on the front lines of New Asia to die." I saw America flinch at my harsh words out of the corner of my eye.

His eyes widened, obviously surprised by my words. "Your Majesty I-"

"GO!" He took one more look at America like the bastard he was before walking away.  I looked back at America who had cast her eyes down in shame and embarrassment. Good. She finally looked up at me and I gestured toward her room with my chin. She turned and walked in, me following closely behind. I closed the door behind us and turned to face her. It took every fiber of strength in me not to cry. I looked toward the unmade bed, thinking about the words I had said this morning, barely an hour earlier. We could wake up like this every day. What a fool I was. I laughed bitterly to myself.

"How long?" I asked quietly. She fidgeted with her fingers. "How long, America?"

"Remember that fight we h-" she began weakly. I exploded.

"We've been fighting since the day we met America! You're going to have to be more fucking specific than that!" Her body shook from my words and I almost felt bad. Almost.

"After Kriss's birthday party," she said softly. I took a step back in shock.

"So basically since he got here. Great," I said, my voice laced with sarcasm. I didn't even know what to say. Hearing that hurt more than any beating my father had ever inflicted on me. I felt the worst possible pain that anyone could imagine and I knew no medicine could help.

"Maxon," she said quickly, "I'm so sorry. At first I was protecting him, then I was protecting myself. After Marlee was caned, I was too scared to tell you the truth. I was afraid I would lose you." All I could hear falling from her lips was lies lies lies lies.

"Lose me? Lose me?" I finally broke. "Dammit, America, you're going home with a small fortune, a new caste and a man who is still pursuing you!" Still in love with you I thought. 

"I'm the one who put my heart on the line but you couldn't trust me. You're such a hypocrite! Every time we argued, you kept saying it wasn't fair that I was dating other women even though it was so painfully obvious that I was only in love with you. You always said you felt like I was playing you when you were doing exactly that. And after Celeste, god. I can't believe I let you judge me when you were probably sneaking kisses with him in dark hallways where nobody could see! I put my heart out for you and you just tossed it like it was nothing, like....like I was nothing. I'm the one losing today, America," I said. I knew my eyes were getting glossy, but I refused to cry in front of her. Tears were streaming down her face but I didn't care. She broke me first.

"I'm going home?" she asked, her voice wavering.

I stared at her in disbelief. "How many times am I supposed to let you break my heart, America?" I said with my voice cracking. "Do you honestly think I'd still marry you, make you my princess, when you've been lying to me for most of our relationship? I refuse to torture myself for the rest of my life. In case you hadn't noticed, I get plenty of that already." She burst into sobs.

"Maxon, please. I'm s-so sorry. I love you!" She  ran toward me and clutched my lapel. I flicked her hands off of me with aversion.

"Out of all the lies you've told, that's the one I resent the most."

"You lied too!" she accused in between sobs. "You told me I was worth it. You told me...I thought you loved me."

"Are you actually serious right now?" I yelled. "You think I would have said that had I known you were doing god knows what with one of my guards? Someone the palace was supposed to trust? I did love you, America. But instead of trusting me, you lied. You lied over and over and right in my face."

"I was afraid that-"

"I know, I know," I said dismissively. "But the fact that you thought I would ever hurt you is absurd. After everything-," I had to pause to hold in the sob building in my throat. "That night in the safe room should have been enough. Even if you were afraid of everything before, that should have been enough." I had nothing more I could say. I was not going to let her see my break.

"It's not-" she started before going completely silent.

"Have your maids do their best. You should go out in style," I said with a bitter taste on my tongue. I walked past her without another word and left the room.

As soon as I rounded the corner, I nearly collapsed. I grabbed the wall to balance myself as I staggered to my bedroom. As soon as I was there I ran to the bathroom. I hadn't even noticed the tears pouring down my face, soaking my collar. I walked up to the mirror and looked into my red, watery eyes. These eyes once filled with love were broken. Each piece of my shattered heart seemed to stab me over and over with every breath I took. I locked the door and sat on the floor of my shower as it automatically turned on. I couldn't tell what was the shower water and what were my tears as they mixed together.

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Whew that was hard to write. Next chapter is gonna be a rollercoaster.