Love Again

I

I

I'm an individual.

Fresh as a daisy, bumangon na ako sa pagkakahiga. I feel so brand new. Yan lagi sinasabi sa sarili matapos akong lokohin ng ex boyfriend ko for the nth time and then finally said I had enough. Yan naging mantra ko na paggising ko sa umaga.

I took a shower then wore my usual dark colored dress shirt, black tights and let my hair air dry. Di na ako nagsusuklay. Mas feel ko ang mukhang luka effect. Kinuha ko ang round eyeglasses ko, i chose to wear this kasi pinunit ko na ung contact lenses ko na sabi ni ex na mas maganda daw ako ng nakacontact lenses.

Well, I don't need to put on make up or even fix my hair to be called beautiful.

Sa mundo ngaun masyadong superficial lang mga lalaki. Tinitingnan lang nila ung magandang mukha, hair falling perfectly sa mukha. Pero I'm done with trying.

I grabbed my bag then head off. I don't own my own car kaya byahe mode ako lagi. Jeep. Train. Jeep. Para makarating lang sa studio ng pinagttrabahuhan ko.

I'm thinking of moving out of that apartment tas kumuha na lang ng mas malapit kaso iniintay ko pa bestfriend kong si Elie from her business trip.

Nagsshare kami ng apartment ngaun since i broke up with ex. Dati nagllive in na kami nun, sya din ang reason kung bakit magkagalit kami ng mama ko.

Ayaw nya akong tumira dito kasama si Mike. Don't say bad words. Ex lang. Sabi ko sa sarili ko. Pero mapilit si ex, gusto daw nya ako makasama start ng makagraduate from college.

Naging sunud sunudan ako sa mga gusto nya. Nagstart pa nga kami ng joined bank account na nakapangalan sa aming dalawa.

Nasa isip ko talaga. We're heading to marriage. Hindi lang naman dahil sa di nya ako pinansin ng makita ko sila ng babae nya kaya ako humiwalay na. Dahil na din months before that day he's acting strange. May kausap sa phone habang nasa banyo pa ako. Sweet talks. The way he talked to me before.

Then sa pagkakabobo din nung ex kong un. Nagpurchase gamit ang credit card namin. Sa tingin ba nya di ko makikita ung singsing na binili nya. So syempre I got excited na magppropose na finally ang matagal ko ng boyfriend.

I waited for a month and a week wala pa din. Nasa isip ko. Tagal naman nya magpropose bongga ba ung event. Foolish me.

I went to the store. Ask for the purchased item. Si engot me, I got excited na naman. Ang ganda nung ring.

Kahit na super gabi na umuuwi si ex. Iniisip ko na lang he's tired from preparing for that proposal or even for the wedding agad. I didn't take him as a big surprise maker. Pero baka he'll make an exception. So I waited for another week.

And there I saw him and her... clingy to each other. The girl is so beautiful. Ganda ng hair mala-shampoo commercial girl. Make up na nakaka-wow. For short-head turner type of girl.

My heart broke into pieces when I saw them, lock lips in the public. A kissing event that day on Valentine's day. Girl is holding his cheeks wearing the ring that I expected to be on my ring finger.

It rests peacefully on that girl's finger -- mocking me, taunting me.

When the kiss was over. I saw him looked at my direction, he looked surprised by the way I stared at him. The girl was so happy, laughing -- oblivious of how she just broke my heart. Then they shared a kiss again and his eye drifted away from me back to the girl.

I realize then he just used me too much. And it's time to end it. I worked fast tinawagan ko si Elie to help me out. I took the money from the bank account na akin lang naman. I kept track on the money I was putting there. Kaya kinuha ko lang ung sakin lang. Akala nya I'm too stupid. He was spending our money all along with that woman. 1k lang natira sa bank account namin ng makuha ko lahat ng sa akin.