Love Again

VII

VII

 

IS HE SERIOUS? O pinagluluko lang ako ng gago na to?

Lizzy put your guard up, remember he's a player. "Stalker ka ba?" mataray na sabi sa kanya as I crossed my arms together. "I'm done with players, so please spare me."

"I'm not a stalker, I just happened to be a good observer and I'm just saying kung anong nakikita ko." He justified. "Mahirap din naman i-miss out presence mo since it's your night." Sunod na sabi nya.

Wow ha, napansin nya un kahit na tntry ko nang mabuti na hindi ipakita ang lungkot na nararamdaman ko kahit sobrang successful ng naging fashion show. "thank you for taking good notice about it. Kahit na I'm trying so hard to hide it." I complimented him, I faced the city night and confessed, "Well, you are right. I'm not that happy."

"You could tell me." He offered.

I took every breathe inside me and let it out as a sigh, "You see I'm expecting someone special to come by and celebrate this successful event with me. Pero hindi sya sumipot." Medyo nagiging emotional na ako. I'm starting to get teary-eyed.

"sino naman ung inaasahan mo?" follow up question nya.

"Ang mommy ko." And by those admitting words and calling out for my mom made me let it all out. I covered my eyes to hide my face ─ this embarrassing face to him. Pero naramdaman ko ang paghaplos nya sa likod ko ang mainit nyang palad made it feel more comfortable.

He whispered, "let it all out." It was comforting and I started to pour this heavy feeling out of me.

"I've been waiting for this day to finally look at her proudly and say I did it. I'm finally a fashion designer that you could be proud of. And finally I can receive her forgiveness and we'll be happy like before." I poured all my rotten expectation to the man who I don't know if he could understand what I am feeling. "Pero wala sya ditto sa tabi ko sa oras na kailangang kailangan ko sya. Bakit ganun? Hindi pa din ba nya ako napapatawad."

"Naiintindihan kita." Sabi nya, napatingin naman ako sa kanya in disbelief. When I glanced at him his stare was so distant looking nothing ahead, "Parehas tayong naghahanap ng kalinga ng ina. I hope too na naging proud sya sa akin kung nasaan man sya ngaun. Kahit na galit sa puso ko ang iniwan na itinanim nya sa puso ko." I could say that there are some deep scars that aren't cured yet. He is teary-eyed as he still stare at nowhere in particular.

Napansin nya napatitig ako sa kanya, I could see his own grief inside of him. There was something in the past that made him this kind of man. His expression changed so sudden in a concerned smile, "So don't be like me who planted the seed of anger to my mother. It became a tree that is so hard to chop down. Wag ka magagalit sa kanya baka may mga circumstances lang na nangyari kaya hindi sya nakapunta." He said comfortingly. Tumango na lang ako sa kanya.

Nakakagulat pa ng bigla nyang hinawakan ang mukha ko at pinunasan ang mga luhang pumatak, his hand was so warm in this cold night breeze. It felt so nice. I just wish he don't move it away from there.

I think he heard my thoughts, kasi hindi pa din nya tinatanggal ang kamay nya sa mukha ko, so I tend to tease to ease the tension moment awhile ago, "Is this what you do to all the girls who are crying?" and I playfully grinned at him.