Living History

Thoughts

I fall back into Rhenyan's arms. My head spins and my heart pounds painfully. I knew that memory was bad, but I didn't expect it to make me feel so sick to my stomach. He gently sets me down on the ground and crouches next to me. I close my eyes and focus on breathing. This is definitely not a time for romance, but I could feel my cheeks flush, and knew it wasn't entirely from the memory. Another reason to hurl.

As if triggered by the thought, my stomach suddenly churns violently. My hands are shaking uncontrollably and my forehead burns. I can't take deep breaths anymore. My hand grasps at the grass on the ground as I lean over and vomit everything I'd eaten in the past week. It happens again and again until I'm sure I'm going to pass out. 5 times, then 6, then 7. My eyes are blurry with tears. My heart is pounding so hard it aches. My throat is raw and burning.

Finally, after I'd lost count, I lean and fall onto my back. Rhenyan is looking down at me from where he's crouched. I don't even have the energy to cover my face with my arm. I stare back at him even though I can't actually see him through my tears.

They were silent the whole time. I assume they were communicating through their bond, since I couldn't feel anything magically. I feel around my own mind as I recover and await their verdict. That memory held a lot for me, despite how hard I'd tried to bury it. That my own mother would turn me in as a wanted Soul Mage was frightening, even knowing the woman. And my siblings... the look on Dai's face... he didn't know any better but now...

I shake my head. No. Anything but that. He still loves you. He just doesn't understand.

At that moment, Rhenyan shifts. He doesn't say anything for a few beats.

"We have somebody we need to go see before we can decide any more. But I want to warn you about her." He hesitates, then sits on the grass beside me.

"She's a very dangerous person, a Mind mage, and not much is known about her rumored powers, but they say she can steal memories completely from anyone she deals with. She also has a cost for her service, which we think we have an answer to. We just need-"

"You think?" I whisper. "You're not sure?"

Instead of getting defensive, he purses his lips and shakes his head sullenly. I clench my hands together. This does not make me feel better at all. Who could these two possibly be afraid of? He's a Master! Doesn't that make him the strongest person in the universe?

"Why are we going to her?" I ask finally. Rhenyan glances up and behind me, where I hadn't noticed Auroya is now. I poke out of my mind and found her leaning against a tree only about 2 feet away. Her energy instantly lashed out at mine, as it had done before, and I was already halfway back before it got to me. I wince but took little real damage. Rhenyan looks back to me.

"Do you remember who that first man was?"

Anger rips through me. Of course I remember him. I hated that man with everything I had. But when I opened my mouth to tell him, nothing came out. My mind blanked. I felt almost dizzy from how empty my mind became when I tried to speak his name. I took a breath and tried again, but immediately I felt a strong grogginess, as if I'd just woken up. Gritting my teeth, I shake my head.

"I do know him but... I can't seem to say his name."

Rhenyan's expression softened. "That's what we were worried about. While we were in your memory, that man was black and fuzzy, but not in any normal way. There's magic that can do that in real time - mostly mind magic, to create illusions - but that's not what this was." He straightens and, after a moment of hesitation, takes my hand. "We think someone tampered with your memories, specifically any memories with that person. The fact that he's the only one blotted out is pretty important. Of course, we have no way of knowing who did it or why, but..."