I didn't mean to break you (clexa au)

t w e n t y o n e

The next morning Lexa woke up alone. In a frenzy she rolled out of the bed wondering where Clarke had disappeared too. But her worries were eased when she heard loud music coming from the kitchen and the smell of pancakes as she walked down the stairs. Lexa wore only a long shirt, her legs bare but she had no cares in the world at this stage. The brunette walked into the kitchen, leaning against the door frame as she watched her girlfriend dancing around the kitchen happily to The 1975.

Lexa enjoyed the view for a few minutes before making her way across the kitchen behind her girlfriend. She snaked her arms around the blondes waist, nuzzling her nose into the crook of her neck, placing soft kisses on her exposed collarbone. "Morning baby," Lexa whispered into her lovers ear, feeling a small shiver coarse through the blondes body. "Lexa!" She cheered in reply happily, turning around in Lexa's grip to face the girl. Clarke beamed up at her girlfriend as she leant in to peck her lips. The brunette laughed at how cute happiness looked on the blonde and reminded herself that it was her job to make her feel like this now. "Pancakes and coffee okay for you baby?" The younger girl questioned as Lexa hesitantly let her go so she could continue cooking. The brunette hummed as she took a seat at the kitchen counter, facing Clarke so she could watch her cook.

Lexa smiled as Clarke's bum wiggled to the song, the blonde also singing along as she went. Reaching for her phone, the brunette began to film her girlfriend as she watched in awe, she loved to see her happy.

"Strawberry and chocolate pancakes with a black coffee," Clarke grinned placing the breakfast in front of her girlfriend who returned the grin. "Thank you sweetness," Lexa replied leaning over the counter to meet Clarke's lips quickly. "Anytime my love," the blonde smiled before grabbing her own plate and mug, taking a seat next to Lexa. A soft moan escaped Lexa's lips as she took a bite into the pancake, making Clarke crack a laugh. "Something wrong Lex?" She questioned with her eyebrow raised. The brunette shook her head lightly as her face flushed red, "it's just really good," she gestured to the pancake. "Everything I put energy into is good," the blonde winked in return making Lexa burst out laughing, "especially last night," the brunette retorted with her eyebrows raised as the blonde nodded.

Weeks past and Lexa and Clarke had been the happiest ever. The two were inseparable, sleeping over at each other's every night, lots of cuddles and some more, spontaneous activities in the bedroom. They went on dates here and there, but all they cared about was spending time with each other.

One sunny Thursday afternoon the teens were queuing for the cinema so they could watch frozen two. Clarke had indeed found out about her girlfriends love for the movie when she saw her crying over the trailer for the second movie. Clarke had just popped to the toilet before the film started and Lexa waited patiently outside for her.

"Why hello there gorgeous," a girl smiled at Lexa who waited outside the bathroom door for Clarke. Lexa smiled back at the girl not wanting to cause a scene, but she was fully aware that Clarke would be out any minute. "Want to see a film with me," the girl winked overconfidently making Lexa brush. "Uh no, I'm actually with someone," the brunette replied still trying to be polite as she looked round to find Clarke who had still not appeared. "Well I'm sure your friend won't mind you ditching for a date with a hot girl." The stranger grinned at Lexa who blushed, "I think she would as shes my-" Lexa was cut off as the girl pushed her lips forcefully onto hers. Lexa's attempted to push back, but knew she was fucked as she heard Clarke's whimpers beside them. "Lexa-" the blondes throat had dried up, her eyes filled with tears. The blonde looked away and started to walk at a fast pace towards the exit doors. "Clarke baby, wait please I can explain!" She yelled after the girl she loved.

"Oh sorry Lexa, I thought you'd found a new fucking date to the movie," the blonde retorted snapping her head to look back the brunette. Lexa was distraught, "Clarke she kissed me! I pushed away, you saw that!" she replied desperately a little anger in her voice. "You don't have to lie to me, how did it even get to that? Suddenly a cute girl walks up to you and has her lips upon yours."

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't want to be rude when she started to talk to me and then she just kissed me," Lexa softened her voice as she reached to touch Clarke's shoulder. The blonde shrugged off the touch and looked into Lexa's green eyes. "So you didn't want to be rude to her, but you didn't mind preying on my insecurities? You know I question everyday how I'm with you, I always knew I wasn't good enough," Clarke spat at the brunette as she began to walk away, earning condescending glares from those around her. "Clarke please, I love you, you are everything I want and need, never doubt that, please come back." The brunette begged as she ran after her.

"Lexa just leave me alone. I need some time okay?" The brunette shook her head, she couldn't lose her, she'd be damned if she let her just walk away. "Clarke stop! Why are you doing this?"

The two girls stood in the dark outside the cinema as the sun began to set in the distance. "You don't love me Lexa, you need someone better, someone more beautiful, someone kinder and more understanding. Someone intelligent, anyone but me." Clarke screamed, her fragile voice breaking here and there as hot salty tears flooded down her flushed face.

"Clarke stop! You are beautiful, you are everything I need, please let me show you how much I love you, I know I made a mistake by not forcefully pushing her away, but i didn't mean to hurt you." Lexa replied desperately as she took a step forward to reach for Clarke's hand. Her head violently shook as she tore her hand away from Lexa's touch. "Lexa we're done, go please, you would've gotten sick of me eventually anyway, just leave."

"Clark-" the brunette tried reaching for the tearful blonde again only to be shaken off. "You don't fucking care Lexa, stop pretending and go, I don't need someone like you, I never did." The blonde spat at Lexa's face. The brunettes face turned a deep shade of red as a weight fell into her stomach. "You don't mean that, look in my eyes and tell me that, then I'll leave." Lexa replies dryly trying to mask her painful tone. She was being pushed away and however much she wanted to stay, what the blonde had just said stuck in her mind. Clarke gulped visibly and raised her head so her eyes met lexa's, "I don't love you Lexa... and I never did," she managed to stutter out. With that Lexa turned to leave as the tears continued to flow down her heated face. The words of the blonde playing in her head, "I don't need you and I don't love you, I never did."

As Lexa rushed away out of sight and onto the dark streets, the weight in her stomach kept piling on and her head kept spinning as she walked through the rainy street. Walking carelessly through muddy puddles as she went, her white socks became stained with the dirt of the water and the pain burning in her heart. She looked back a couple of times, hoping to see Clarke behind her, begging her to come back, telling her it was a mistake. But the girl didn't show, Lexa was alone. And Lexa didn't want to live in a world without Clarke, who had made it clear, they were nothing.