I didn't mean to break you (clexa au)

t e n

After the slightly awkward lunch, the two girls headed out. "Let me drive you back to the dorm," Lexa offered pointing towards her car. "Oh no it's fine, I'm headed to my mums place anyway." Clarke replied with a small smile, she was excited to see her mum and sister again, as well as the new house. "Give me the address, I'll drive you," Lexa offered, she didn't mind, and she wanted to spend as much time with Clarke as she could.

"I don't want to trouble you Lex, it's like half an hour away, I'll be okay on the bus," the blonde shrugged as she slid off Lexa's jacket to hand back to her. The brunette had forgotten it was even hers, it was slightly baggy on the blonde, and looked absolutely adorable.

"Either you let me give you a lift, which I really don't mind doing Clarke, or you keep the jacket, it's cold out here I'm not letting you walk away without a jacket. Clarke's smile widened at Lexa's caring words, "are you sure about giving me a lift?" The blonde asked shyly. "Of course I am, and keep the jacket anyway, it looks better on you." Lexa smirked earning a blush and small eyebrow raise from Clarke. The brunette had to admit, seeing Clarke in her clothes made her stomach feel funny, a good kind of funny.

The two walked over to the car, Lexa opening the passenger door for Clarke, "ma lady," she mocked as Clarke slid into the car seat, thanking her with a giggle. The brunette shut the door before taking a deep breathe and going to her side of the car, she would never get bored of that adorable laugh. 

"Where too?" Lexa questioned. Clarke pulled out her phone and showed Lexa the address. Hesitantly the brunette nodded, a visibly lump forming in her throat. "Are you okay Lex?" Clarke noticed the girls change of attitude. "Uh yeah, yeah I'm good." She replied displaying a fake smile as she pulled off and began the drive towards Clarke's house.

The whole journey was silent. Lexa's mind was racing over her past as she neared the familiar streets she had played on when she was a child. This was the neighbourhood she was brought up in. And when she left, she had sworn that she would never, ever come back. But for some reason, she kept driving, she couldn't tell Clarke. Not yet. She wasn't ready to be open like that, and so she kept the small smile on her face and drove until they arrived on the road of Clarke's new house. The road where she grew up. The road where it happened.

Lexa pulled up in front of the house and hesitantly stopped the car, keeping her eyes on the wheel. "Uh thanks. Do you wanna come in? I'm sure my mum won't mind." Clarke asked, a hint of worry in her voice as she noticed Lexa's mind was distance. "No." The brunette replied blankly, the stoic expression staying still on her face. "Lex are you okay?" The blue eyed beauty questioned, moving her hand to rest on Lexa's thigh. Lexa stayed quiet, she couldn't bring herself to lie to the blonde. "Just go please," her voice cracked as she shivered under Clarke's touch.

Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat as she listened to Lexa's harsh words. She gave a small nod and retracted her hand from the girls thigh. Slowly she opened the door of the car and stepped out, "goodbye," she said softly as she closed the door behind her. Without another word or a look the brunette had sped off in her car. 

As Clarke walked to the front door she felt a sting in her heart. The feeling that Lexa's mood change was completely her fault was weighing down on her. After their most recent interaction, Clarke worried about the girl, and wondered whether she'd be able to talk to her later or if she'd just get pushed away.

"Hi mum," Clarke greeted as her mother opened the door and pulled her into a hug. Clarke smiled into her mother's embrace, however wishing that it was Lexa she was holding.

As Lexa drove away she couldn't help but feel guilty for the worry she had caused the innocent blonde. The confused and concerned tone in the blondes voice echoed through her mind. Her thigh tingling from the gentle touch, wishing her hand was still there. Lexa wanted more than anything to tell Clarke everything. She wanted to tell her about her past, about what had happened those years ago, but she couldn't bring herself too.

She knew that it was a mistake, letting someone in. Beginning to care for Clarke a mistake, not the biggest of her life, but a mistake all the same. Lexa thought she could handle her past, handle the pain and suffering she'd been through but she just couldn't anymore. She had to build the walls around her back up, shut the blonde out. She couldn't lose someone else, and she knew this feeling that she had for the blonde all too well. She was falling in love.