With Fear or Without

38- Have Fun Storming the City!

As they stepped out into the dark daylight, Cassian stood on the main road waiting for them. He was turned away, gazing wistfully in the general direction of the doors.

"Hey Cassian," Remie called, getting his attention. "Ready?"

"Yeah, just..." He trailed off, glancing once again into the distance. He turned back and asked Cleo, "Can I talk to you?"

Remie answered before Cleo could.

"We should really get going." She raised her eyebrows at Cassian as if reiterating a point that had been discussed already.

"It'll be quick, don't worry," Cassian replied, already turning to walk a ways away from the group.

Cleo looked to Remie for help, who was looking after Cassian with an odd expression of... dread? Concern? She looked back at Cleo with a small shrug. She took that as a sign to follow Cassian across the road.

"So... what's up?"

Cassian fidgeted nervously, rubbing one forearm with his hand, refusing to meet Cleo's eyes. First Remie, and now him? Something was definitely up.

"You look nice."

Okay, that was definitely not what Cleo was expecting to hear. Slowly, she said, "Uh... thanks." He still wouldn't look at her.

"Cassian, what's going on?" she asked, craning her neck so he was forced to look at her. "Both of you are acting really weird right now."

Cassian straightened and opened his mouth to speak. His eye caught something over Cleo's shoulder. She couldn't see it, but he was looking at Remie, who had guessed what Cassian was about to do and was silently urging him not to do it.

He closed his mouth again and swallowed. Finally looking at Cleo, he simply asked, "Do you wish you hadn't helped me?"

"What? What does that mean?"

"I mean," he shrugged, "do you ever wish you hadn't gotten involved? With me, with this? All of it."

Cleo stared at him. She was about to say no, of course not, when something made her change her mind. All the fear, all the uncertainty, all the pain and stress she experienced since Cassian had first appeared in her dream.

But she changed her mind again. Rowana made sure that she would've crossed paths with this world one way or another. On some level, she was proud and grateful to have jumped into the deep end on her own.

"I don't... no. I don't think so."

Cassian studied her, then nodded. "Good. I don't want you to. Just..." he distractedly rubbed the back of his neck, his brows knitting together. "Promise me you'll be careful, okay?"

Cleo frowned, getting increasingly suspicious of his behavior. "Yeah. Yeah, I promise."

"Okay then," he said, taking a deep breath. "We'd better get going then."

"Wait," Cleo said, "that's it? 'Be careful?'"

It was Cassian's turn to frown at the question. 

"What's going on, Cassian? You and Remie are both being really weird and I don't think you're telling me why."

Cassian paused before responding, prodding his tongue around in his mouth as he thought. "I just... We're nervous. Almost two years of being here has led to this, we're allowed to be worried."

The defensiveness in the latter part of his answer made Cleo regret asking so harshly. Of course they would be worried. This was their world, their cause, their rebellion. If Cleo and her friends failed tonight... She shook her head. 

"Yeah, of course you are," she said quietly. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Let's go."

They rejoined the rest of the group and the five of them made their way to the exit of the city.

In front of the doors, a sort of farewell gathering awaited them. Maedrian and Spiros Silver stood shoulder to shoulder. Vik and Sona stood off to one side and Nolan stood on the other. His sullen expression mirrored Remie and Cassian's, though he did his best to smile at the incoming group.

"Good luck," Maedrian said, shaking each of their hands one by one. "We're counting on you."

Next to her, Spiros simply nodded at them, his face unreadable and stony. Vik and Sona seemed to be the only optimistic ones, smiling and giving them enthusiastic thumbs up and last-minutes pointers to remember.

Just as Cleo and her friends turned to the doors, Remie strode over and took Cleo into a tight hug. As if that wasn't surprising enough, she whispered into Cleo's ear.

"I have something to tell you," she breathed hurriedly, "Keep an eye out. I'll be the one asking you to dance."

As soon as the final word left her mouth Remie pulled away, this time flashing Cleo a smile that simultaneously loosened the knot in her stomach and tightened it right back up again.

With Remie back among the group to see them off, the trio walked the remaining feet to the doors. Just as Cleo was bracing herself and reminding herself to stay positive, Charlie said something that made her heart sink.

"Feels like they're expecting to never see us again."