Where I Am Without You [L.S]

Chapter Twenty Five

Alright - Triple update so make sure to read chapters twenty three and four before this one !!

Anne settles down into the outdoor lounge chair beside him. He looks up from where he'd been scribbling random thoughts down into his personal journal, Paris spread out before them on the particularly warm afternoon. There's a haze over the city but the sun is bright above them and his eyes take a moment to adjust from the cream paper to his mum. His mum would be leaving for a three-week holiday to South Africa tomorrow morning, she'd flown over with them to spend some time around them all. It felt like the early days of the band, when all their parents had taken as much time as they could to be with the boys as they'd travelled.

"Are you finally going to tell me what happened or are we going to keep pretending nothing happened sweetie?" Anne suddenly says and he just stares at his mum. She has always been one of the kindest, most gentle people he's ever met so the fact she's being so blunt with now must really prove that he is moping.

"I spoke with Louis."

"Obviously."

"Back in LA, and yesterday, and... he told me some things."

"That's usually what people do when they have a conversation." And he really wishes he could find the humour in this situation but he was still just too confused by everything. "Oh sweetheart." Anne's face falls at his lack of reaction to her comment and she stands from the seat and comes to sit beside him, wrapping him in her arms.

He's quiet for a long while, taking the time to shift through his next words. He tells her everything, every part of the conversations, the album shoot, the Brit awards, and seeing Louis for the first time, all of it. Recounts all of his confusion and anger, bitterness and longing and his wish that none of this had ever happened. It takes him over an hour of him rambling, all the while his mum sits patiently by his side and listens to everything he has to say. He doesn't think he's ever loved his mother more in his life than he does right then.

"And I'm just lost. What do I do?" He asks, turning to face her with pleading eyes.

"I don't think I can answer that darling. That's only for you to decide."

"I look at him and I know I still have feelings for him, I want to throw it all away and try win him back but I don't even know if he wants that, if it's healthy for me to want that. I've been so caught up in Louis for so long that I don't know if what I feel for him is pinning over something lost or if it's real."

"Harry." His mum says flatly looking him square in the eye. "I can't tell you what to do, but I know you, and I'd like to think I know Louis well enough too by now. You love him Harry, you never haven't and you never won't, that's not something that you can ever change. What you had together was very real, I don't think I have ever seen two people more in love with one another. I don't know whether you are still in love him, but you certainly still love the person he is."

He goes to speak but is interrupted by the sound of knocking on the apartment door. His mother gives him a long look before he moves to stand and head towards it. He crosses back over through the open doorway into the spacious living room and stops before the door.

He pulls open the door the moment he sees Zayn waiting patiently on the other side. He flicks Harry a smile as he walks passed him and into the living room.

"I thought we were meeting at six?" He asks Zayn as he trails behind him.

"We are, but I wanted to talk to you." This can't be good.

"Oh, hi Zayn!" His mother says as she wanders back into the apartment with their two empty glasses in her hands.

"Anne! Didn't realise you were up here, sorry I can come back..."