Sneak up on Me

Chapter 8

8

"Dude, let go of me," I order James, who is gripping my arm extra tight and dragging me along the deck of the boat.  

Where the hell does he need to get to so fast?

As we reach the area of the boat where everyone is gathered and talking, he very rudely and deliberately knocks me against every single person around us as we cut through the crowd, disregarding my yelps of pain, the angry protests of the people around us and my angry stares burning into the back of his head.

As soon as we reach a clear spot on the deck, I yank my arm from James's grasp and point my finger in his face, causing him to take a step back and step on a person's foot in the process.

"You cad!" Screams an old lady. Lifting a flabby arm she swings her purse into James's face and then turns and hobbles away. 

Shaking with hidden laughter, I slap him as hard as I can on the other side of the face and skip away happily, leaving him bent over the side of the boat trying to redirect some of the cold air coming from the cold ocean to his now red and burning face.

Sucker, I think as I look at him touching his fingertips to his temple where he has a small cut from the hardware on her purse.

Serves him right for bringing me on this boat.

"Hey, James," I laugh, "how did you get those injuries? War wounds? Biker fight?"

He just glares at me.

"If I survived an old-lady-ass-kicking I would be pretty proud," I tell him.

"Hahaha, London. Soooo funny," he laughs sarcastically, and turns around to lean on the railing. Bored, I leave the patio we were on and go for a walk to explore a bit.

The boat could really use some work. I mean really, I lived in one of the crappiest places I have ever seen in my entire life. It's obvious I'm not a snob that always has the finer things in life and never wants for anything. I know what it's like to be poor, but this place is bad. It's a method of public transportation and the railings look like they are going to snap off and we are all going to plummet to our deaths, the overhangs look like they are going to crush us flat, there is mould in the corners where they think we can't see it, we can't go inside (because, "the cabins are reserved for the captain of this fine vessel," while the said captain sits on a rainbow coloured deck chair with a polka dotted umbrella, sipping his beer and munching on 'crisps' and Cadbury bars while some scrawny ass 16 year old on his year off from school due to an existential crisis steers the boat with one hand while texting with the other and leads us to a certain death worthy of a movie like Titanic), my pineapples are freezing off and there is a creepy guy watching me.

What percentage of the public would want to be transported anywhere by public transportation like this? It's just pathetic. 

Hold up a sec... creepy...what? Oh mother of all holy papayas. That guy from the boarding dock. Gosh! How could I forget!? Curse James for distracting me! This can't happen again! But how to stop it from happening... He's just so annoying and hot I can't help but notice him... Got it! Bingo, Eureka, whatever! I'll wrap myself in bubble wrap and surround myself with exotic fruit and llamas! 

What?!

Smacking myself in the side of the head for coming up with that stupid idea, I get a few weird looks from people as they walk by warily. Just to freak them out, I give them an insane grin and watch them hurry away, looking back every so often to make sure I'm not following them. Those pineapple butts! What do they have against mentally unstable people?! Huh?! I was just pretending to be insane, but what if I actually was?! They would have hurt my feelings!