Sneak up on Me

Chapter 15

15


I shake my head slowly as I sit alone in my room, thinking of all the possible things Shawna could do with this information to make my life hell. Knowing her, there's countless ways to embarrass me, ranging across a scale of mostly embarrassing to the point were you have to change your name to Petrino de Montoya and move to Mexico to avoid the shame. 


I jump up from my bed and run out of my room, not wanting there to be consequences of leaving her alone for any amount of time in an unfamiliar setting. 


She's like a small puppy in that way. If she likes you, she'll jump all over you, and even when she does something crazy you can't help but forgive her because of her lovable nature. 


If she doesn't like you, then she'll probably bite you. Literally. 


When you leave a small puppy alone in a newfound setting, it will probably run around like a maniac, break everything, or pee everywhere. Maybe not the peeing part, but Shawna is pretty much the same. And I really don't want the thing she breaks to be James's face. 


That would be a terrible shame.


The sound of my footsteps rushing down the stairs soon merge with the sound of Ash beginning to pound on the front door once more while Shawna sits on the floor beside the door. When she notices me in the hall she looks up and motions for me not to let on that we're here. 


I shrug in my seclusion. Oh well. I might as well play along. Besides, it could turn out to be somewhat amusing. 


"LONDON?!" Ash shouts. 


"Let me in!"


"Hey! What about me?!" James joins in, and Ash snorts. 


"Just let me in!" Ash says, "I don't care what you do with him! You can do what you want with him, just let me go!" 


James makes a sound of protest from the other side of the door at Ash's failed attempt at negotiating his freedom. 


"Dude!" He exclaims. "That's low, sacrificing me to a clinically insane person!"


"I don't care, man!" Ash argues back. "I just don't want to be left out here in the cold!"


James snorts in response. "Yeah, your homeless person biker impersonation outfit doesn't really offer any protection against the elements."


"SHUT UP, DUMBASS!" Ash shouts and I hear a few scuffling noises and then the sound of something crunching under a considerable weight. 


Going over to the window and peering past the curtain, it is obvious that in his rage, Ash pushed James off the porch and the crunching was the sound of the large, frozen bush below breaking his fall. 


I snort with laughter, quickly clapping a hand over my mouth after realizing my mistake, but it's too late. 


Obviously hearing the sound, James's head snaps to the window and his agitated face melts in relief. 


"OH THANK GOD!" He yells. 


He scrambles to get out of the bush, but only succeeds in breaking even more branches. 


Finally managing to stand up in the bush, he scrabbles for the window ledge and grips it tightly, pressing his face up against the glass to keep upright. 


"OH GOOD!" He shouts, his breath warming the glass and causing a thin mist to form against the cold glass. 


"Help me!" He pleads. "I'm locked out here with an insane person! I can't even break the window because it's bulletproof! I'd take your crazy friend any day over this nutcase!"


As if on cue, Ash starts singing. And it's not a normal song, oh no. He starts to sing the most annoying song in existence: the fox song. 


"What does the fox say?!" He screeches. 


James groans in mental and emotional agony. 


"The fox says 'shut the frack up!'", he shouts back at Ash. 


"I don't know," I say, "this is pretty amusing... Plus I don't have the key. My clinically insane friend has that." 


In response to my comment on her sanity, Shawn swings her foots out and it catches me in the calf, causing me to wince and cry out in pain. 


James glares at me, and in his attempt to flip me the bird, loses his grip on the ledge and falls back into the bush with a shout. This time though, he crashes right through the remaining branches and lands on the cold ground, along with the ruins of what once was perfectly shaped foliage. 


I laugh again and he pops back into view once more. 


"I'm not kidding, if you leave me out here for another minute, I will murder this caterwauling idiot," he threatens with a menacing look. 


"Oh and by the way," he says with a smirk, "I will personally punish you for being such a bad little Pumpkin. Have you ever heard the term 'pumpkin smashing'? Well it takes on a whole new meaning here... If you catch my drift," he says with one of his trademark smirks and a wink. 


I stick my tongue out at him and he mimes biting it. 


Shawna gets up from the floor while throwing a smirk and at me and joins me at the window. 


She looks at Ash sitting on the porch floor attempting to pick the lock with a stick, completely lost in his own little world and quickly tilts her head to the side and bringing a single finger to her lips, motioning for James to come around to the other entrance quietly. 


I follow her through the hall and around the corner to the other door where James stands. I go to open the door, but my hand is slapped away before I can finish. 


I glare at Shawna. 


"Bitch," I accuse. She just grins in return. 


"Thank you!" She chirps back cheerfully. 


"You can punish me any day, sexy spy guy," she says flirtatiously with a sly wink through the glass, ignoring my death stare and his eye roll. 


"Sorry," he says while keeping his piercing green eyes trained on me, "I only stalk Res."


As if receiving the correct answer, Shawna opens the door and James steps into the kitchen. We both stand still and silent for a moment, and then seeing the hard gleam in his green eyes, I turn on my heels and book it. 


I race through the house, aware of James following extremely close behind me, laughing as I sprint to seek safety within my room. 


It isn't until I I'm pushing James in his staircase that I think about the possibility of one of us going over the railing, or about all the fragile things on display all around the entire house. 


Thank god I haven't broken anything... Yet. 


James and I spring up the second set of stairs towards my door - narrowly avoiding falling over a couch in the hall - where I can see the old skeleton key sitting within the keyhole, and it becomes a competition to see who can reach it first. 


James reaches it first and raises it over his head, stretching his arm as far up as it could go, to keep it out of my reach; all while smirking at me. 


"Give me the key, James!!" I order him, trying to pull his arm down to my level, but it doesn't budge an inch. 


"Nuh uh!" James chants. "You locked me outside with a nutcase and now I'm not going to let you lock yourself away! This is your punishment! No mercy!" He laughs and sticks out his tongue at me. 


This feels like kindergarten all over again. 


"James!" I whine, finding myself skipping around him a little to try to get the key out of his hand, grabbing onto his arm, still pulling at it. 

"Dance for me, Pumpkin," he laughs, and dodges my punch.