Dirk Gently and The Ghosts of Time

The House

"Holy shit, dude." Tina stared wide-eyed at their discovery upon unlocking the door.

The floor was ripped open from below by an odd, giant, pink, horn covered, worm-like monster. Todd's jaw dropped. "That's the monster from my vision! Except then it was a lot less-"

"Dead. It appears to be very much dead." Dirk cut him off.

"If it's dead then why is it standing straight up?" Farah added.

"Rigor Mortis?" Todd turned to her.

"It would have fallen and then frozen." She corrected him.

"Five-out-of-eight dead-ish. Proceed with caution!" Tina ignored Dirk's warning and ran straight towards it. Farah ran after her yelling for her to stop as Todd and Dirk stood watching the chaos unfold. "Well then... I guess we're throwing caution to the wind. Shall we?" They followed inside, careful with each step to avoid the already broken floor caving in any more.

Tina attempted to climb its horns like a rock wall but failed miserably, thankfully not falling through the floor. "I'M OK!" She jumped back up. Farah just shook her head.

"How are you two together? You're so different." Todd knelt down by Farah who was examining the monster, who at this point they confirmed was-in fact-dead.

"I could say the same for you two." She pointed at Dirk. "He's so bright and pure and you're so... everything opposite... very, you."

Dirk held his hand to his chest, offended. "I will have you know that Todd is precious, he is perfect in every way. The other day when I had my panic attack he-"

"I SAID TELL NO ONE." Todd practically jumped on him.

"Ok, now I have to know!" Farah gave him a fierce, questioning look.

"No. Nope. Never." He started walking to the other side of the monster to avoid the conversation.

"What? Are you afraid to have everyone know how soft you are?" Dirk appeared out of nowhere. He wrapped his arms around Todd, leaning on his back, his head chin resting on his shoulder.

"Todd Brotzman, god of mid-2000s Seattle alt... soft? No." Tina laughed.

"Thank you, Tina."

"But you are! You're so sweet and perfect, you only let me see it though." Dirk kissed his head.

"And I'd like to keep it that way." He turned around to give Dirk a quick kiss before his eyes popped out of his head and he slapped his hands over his mouth.

"HA! So you admit it!" Dirk pointed at him.

"No! I never said anything."

"There's no going back, Todd. You have to tell us now." Farah crossed her arms.

"So... we got back and-"

"No, Dirk! We have a case to solve anyway. Let's go back to that."

"Fine." Dirk pouted.

They walked back over to the monster to examine it, when Dirk all of a sudden asked, "If this place was abandoned in the 40s, then why isn't this monster decaying. It looks like it just died."

"It could have died recently." Tina shrugged.

"No, it couldn't have. It would have died soon after it was abandoned, no food. This thing isn't dead, it was never alive to begin with." He slowly approached the monster, half scared to test his theory in fear of being wrong. He knocked on the side of its pink slimy body to discover it wasn't slimy at all, just glossy, and it wasn't a body at all. Clang, clang. It was metal.