Not Her

Chapter 20

T/W: Ableist language, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder attack and sexual harassment/assault

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Iziz is nice.

If the city wasn't under Separatist occupation, Ahsoka would've suggested going on leave here with Anakin.

It's easier to focus on the stunning architecture instead of Saw's cockiness, Steela's attitude and Lux's lovesick eyes as he follows the rebel woman around like she's a god.

She thought the air was clear between her and Steela after their spar, but apparently not. Every time Ahsoka opens her mouth to offer a strategic suggestion, the woman either talks over her or straight up ignores her.

It reminds her of early in the war when nobody took her seriously.

It doesn't help that Anakin, Obi-Wan and Rex are leaving her to supervise the rebels on her own. Usually, she would've jumped at the opportunity to lead, but not now.

Not like this.

"You'll be fine," Anakin reassures her, a firm hand on her shoulder. "You're more than capable at managing the situation here."

She isn't. How can she establish any authority here when every rebel just sees her as a crippled runt? She can feel them staring at Skipper, sees them whispering to each other whenever her Masters aren't at her side.

"You're paranoid," Anakin says softly, reading her thoughts, "You've been a Commander for a long time, Snips; you've got this. I know it's scary, but you have to believe in yourself."

She sighs in defeat, knowing he won't change his mind, "Okay, Master."

Anakin rubs the valley of her montrals, "I'll keep in touch."

"Be mindful of your actions, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan warns, "And remember, you cannot let your emotions cloud your judgement."

"Yes, Master," she says, bowing respectfully. Obi-Wan's been getting more and more sceptical of her abilities since they arrived, and she doesn't want to worsen the distrust he holds in her, even if she doesn't have faith in herself either.

"Remember your purpose," Anakin says, turning to leave.

Rex hesitates for a moment before joining his General, "See you on the flip side, Commander."

She forces a smile, "Tell the boys I said hi, Rexster."

The clone gives her a mock salute which she returns, and then she watches their retreating figures. It's just her now.

In the Halls of Healing, she was rarely alone for too long; Anakin always made sure she had company. Now, there's nobody but herself and a band of rebels who don't even like her.

She re-enters their base, sees the three 'leaders' getting ready to leave, "Where are you going?"

"We're going to take down the power grid," Lux says, passing Steela her rifle, "it's the perfect way to get the civilians' attention without making them fearful."

"I see." Ahsoka's thrilled this is only being brought to her attention now. She raises a sceptical eye marking, "You're going to take the whole facility down with a rifle?"

"Recon, Jedi." Steela says, walking past Ahsoka and nudging her arm in the process, "Thought you'd know all about that from being in the military."

Ahsoka glares at the woman's back, counting down from ten in her head before she makes a snarky comment. Saw smirks as he walks out of the base, obviously amused whilst Lux pauses beside her, "It's okay, Ahsoka; we all know you haven't been on the field in a while."