Saving Zayn Malik

Quit Perving Horan

Chapter Seven: Quit Perving, Horan

"And then he was like 'Well if it's any consolation, I think you look hot with purple hair' and he just walked out! Does that count as flirting? I think it should. Zayn flirted with me!" I squealed to Louis.

"Oh. My. Gosh. I totally ship you!" he squealed right back.

"You ship us? What the hell is that? That's creepy. Anyway, just think, if we were dating, he wouldn't want to hurt himself! And that's exactly what I want to happen. Also I could talk about anything with him, so he'd tell me if he was thinking about cutting or suicide! It's perfect."

"That's so not true," Harry announced as he walked in the living room. "I've been in a relationship with someone who attempted to kill himself and he didn't even tell me. Now he's in a mental asylum 'cause his parents are dicks." Harry sounded so bitter. Plus he hardly ever swears. Wait a second....

"What was his name?" I asked.

"Liam Payne." Okay, this is getting weird. Who is Liam and why does everyone know him?

-

I was in the closet. Not like the gay closet. The literal closet. And I was on the phone with Bridget.

"Harry was dating a guy who attempted to kill himself and who's parents put him in a mental asylum. And his name was Liam Payne." I informed her.

"Liam?" she gasped.

"Yeah. How does everyone know him? Everyone seems to know him but not know that everyone knows him. I feel out of the loop."

"I never knew that Harry was dating him. I didn't know Harry until last year. I lived in America! How did Harry date him when he lived in America with me?"

"Did he ever go to England on holiday?"

"No. Where is Harry from anyway? Maybe he's from America?"

"No, he's from Cheshire."

"Did he ever go on holiday to America?"

"I dunno." I stuck my head out the closet. "HARRY! YA EVER BEEN TO AMERICA?"

"YEAH, THAT'S WHERE I MET LIAM!"

"He has and that's where he met Liam." I repeated to Bridget.

"Oh my flying fish, he was dating Liam. I can't believe he didn't tell me!"

"Who, Harry?"

"No! Liam. I thought he told me everything! God, I wish I could talk to him again. Do you realise how bad this hurts? He was my best friend. I told him everything, and I thought he told me everything but I guess not. Can you imagine how bad it feels to find out he was hiding that from me?"

"I'm sorry, Bridget. I just thought you ought to know."

"Thanks, Ni. I gotta go, Civia is feeding Tuppah and everytime she does that Tuppah throws up."

"Who the hell is Tuppah?"

"My pet possum."

"When did you get a pet possum?"

"I met this Indian woman on the side of the road, I was walking to get exercise, and she was telling me about her son who collected weird animals and I asked her what kind of animals he had at the moment. She told me he had a possum, twin hedgehogs, a skunk, a antelope, and a puma. I have always wanted a pet so I got the possum and the hedgehogs."

"Why both?"

"The possum was dating the male hedgehog. And I didn't want to separate them. And I couldn't separate the brother and sister, so I just got them all!"

"Uh...have fun with your abstract animals. Love you, Bridge!"

"Peace out, bruddah man." Bridget hung up and I stared confused at the phone. Bruddah man?

-

"Can you kindly stop perving on me?" Zayn whispered to me while still facing forward. I blushed like a virgin.

"I-I wasn't perving on you. I was...looking past your head."

"Yeah sure. We're in class, why don't you try and learn something, yeah?" I huffed and looked towards Mrs. Flack. She's a decent teacher and she ain't ugly, that's for sure. But she's...a cougar. If you saw how many times she's flirted with Harry, you'd probably puke. I know I want to. But it's funny too 'cause Louis just sits there and glares and huffs repeatedly.

"You're still not paying attention, are you Horan? Shame shame. You're gonna fail this pop quiz she's giving out, aren't ya now?" Zayn muttered to me. My head snapped up and I looked at Mrs. Flack to see her holding a stack of papers in her arms. I groaned and buried my face in my hands. I don't even know why I signed up for art. When a sheet of paper landed on my desk, I wanted to slap the fuck out of Zayn. It was a sheet of paper about a project.

"Nice one, Zayn. Simply hilarious."

"I try."

I rolled my eyes and looked down at my paper. It read,

Draw a Picture, It Lasts Forever

International Art Contest

Do you think you have what it takes to compete against over a million other artists...and win?

Art can be any medium, any type of picture.

Prizes

First Place: 1,000,000

Second Place: 500,000

Third Place: 250,000

Fourth Place: 100,000

Fifth Place: 50,000

To enter fill out the form below.

Ha, I can't draw for shit. I crumpled up the paper and tossed it to the trash can. "Why are you throwing it away?" Zayn inquired.

"Can't draw for shit. Are you gonna enter it?"

"Yeah."

"You'll do good."

"Thanks."