Saving Zayn Malik

Talk

Chapter Eighteen: Talk

Zayn spun around, a wild look in his eyes. "No, no, no. This wasn't supposed to happen. No. Niall, you need to go." I looked at Zayn and felt a tear slip down my face.

"Zayn. What are you doing? You can't. Zayn. Why? Tell me why. You know I deserve to know why."

"Everywhere I go, something else happens to hurt me. My life is too fucked up now to change. I don't want this anymore. I want to be gone. No one cares, no one loves me. I'm worthless, Niall. I am nothing! No one wants me. Can't you get that!" I was crying in earnest now. He can't do this.

"There's no second chance with suicide. It's just over. If you change your mind while you're bleeding out, after you swallow the pills, it's too late then. Suicide isn't a joke. Don't treat it like it can be reversed. Like it's a mistake you can regret and make all better. That's not how suicide works. It's just not. You think people don't care? You can watch them cry their eyes out at your funeral. You think no one loves you? You can watch how I act if you die.You think you're worthless? You don't know what you can do until you try and if you're dead, you're not trying anything. You think no one wants you? Come with me. Trust me. I'll be there for you, Zayn. If you just come with me, everything will be okay. Just don't jump, Zayn. I swear to the good lord above if you jump off right now, I will bring you back to life and kill you again. Don't try me, Zayn Jawaad Malik, 'cause I ain't kidding." Zayn looked like I had slapped him in the face.

"You just don't understand. I don't want to do this anymore! Can't you let me go?" It was almost like he was pleading with me at this point.

"No! No I will not let it go! Ever! So get the fuck over it. I'm not letting you go, I'm not giving up, and I'm never going to stop loving you. So don't leave me Zayn. I thought you said you loved me? If you loved me, would you do this? Would you leave me alone? Come on, Zayn. Get down from there. You don't really want this."

"I do want this! Niall, let me be happy, let me go." I just kept shaking my head. I am not going to lose him.

"No. Nope. Nada. You're not gonna leave me. You should just get over it because I'm not gonna give up until you get down. I will make you change your mind. I will make you be happy whether you like it or not. So stop it, Zayn. Stop doing this."

Zayn stare at me for a long, hard second and....stepped back from the edge of the building.

He's not gonna commit.

That's what I thought.

Then he slipped.