No Light: 3 Lives, 3 Worlds , Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms AU

Part 13: Vows

A/N: The picture above is of Yang Mi dressed up as Bai Qian, the bride, in Three Lives, Three Worlds, a Pillow Book. I'm glad that we got to see that. Even if Ye Hua didn't make an appearance, we did get to see our Bai Qian in all her bridal glory.

"Now sit here, and do not move," her mother instructed, leaning down to kiss the side of her face. "We've spent too long getting you ready."

Bai Qian nodded her head, an irritated frown appearing on her face. Before she could say anything, or vent that irritation, her mother spoke up.

"My dearest daughter," her mother said, choking on emotions, "You're getting married." Her eyes were filled with happiness, but there was a hint of sadness for the child she would lose today.

"Mother," Bai Qian began, and then stopped, knowing there was nothing she could say.

"I know. I know." She dabbed at her eyes, blinking furiously to stop the tears. "Now, I've left explicit instructions that you are not be disturbed." With a sigh and one final loving kiss placed against her forehead, she left the room.

Bai Qian sat in her room, covered in a profusion of red. Everything felt strange.; the multiple layers of silk moving over her body with an unexpected sensuality, the heaviness of the makeup on her face, the fact that she was tying herself to Crown Prince Ye Hua for all eternity. That most of all flooded her with a sea of strange feelings. She was taking an irrevocable step today that would alienate her from everything she used to be. Taking a deep breath, she fought the spike in her anxiety at the thought of the upcoming nuptials. She didn't want to lose herself.

The fox clan was a loyal clan; she knew there would be no escape once the vows were exchanged. Groaning out loud, a black frown appeared on her face, which did nothing to mar her beauty. Every time she glimpsed herself in the mirror, her eyes taking in the jewelry adorning her ears and neck, the ornaments covering her hair, the red of her blushing cheeks, the sweep of her lashes, her breath caught in her throat, forcing her to pause and fight for a state of calm. They were constant reminders of what was to come.

While she had made the decision to move forward with this marriage, and was ready to take the risk, that didn't mean that anxiety and fear were not constant companions to her today. Her eyes flickered to the mirror and back, stopping long enough to observe the paleness of her cheeks under the blush, her lips a pale pink, Bai Qian having eaten her lip rouge away, before looking down to her clenched hands, and the nails biting into her skin. Her mind flitted back to that last wedding day and how relieved she had been when she reached Zhe Yan's Peach Orchard; there would be no escape today. She wouldn't run away; it wouldn't be fair to Ye Hua and it wouldn't be fair to her.

She knew that a large part of her anxiety stemmed from fear of the unknown; despite her adventurous past, marriage was a new kind of unknown. She had never risked her heart, not truly so. Since having met Ye Hua again, and in fulfilling her mortal's dreams, the reckless and lively part of her that she had ruthlessly suppressed since the war had begun to awaken and make its own demands.

There was a soft murmur at the entrance to her room, a hint of activity when she had expressly instructed that she be left alone until the ceremony. Turning, she saw that Feng Jiu had come into the bedroom, her steps hesitant, as if she was uncertain of her welcome.

Bai Qian forced herself to smile, wondering once again what had happened to make her beloved niece so somber. Feng Jiu had returned to Qing Qiu two weeks ago, quieter, in a more serious state of mind than Bai Qian was used to seeing her in. She had cried on her Gugu's shoulder, adamantly refusing to say what had caused her so much pain. When Bai Qian had asked questions, gently prying, Feng Jiu had closed up, saying nothing until Bai Qian gave up in frustration.