No Light: 3 Lives, 3 Worlds , Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms AU

Part 16: Walk Away

Bai Qian pulled back, slipping free from the stream of Die Yong's essence, her mind reeling at her discovery. The taste of blood was iron-rich on her tongue, bringing bitterness into sharp clarity. "No wonder Zhe Yan was so hesitant. He didn't go at all," she murmured to herself. "Why would he keep this from me? Why would they both keep this from me?"

Die Feng sat at her side, patting her shoulder, offering what comfort he could. He finally stated, "The Crown Prince is a powerful being. Maybe he feared that you might not accept his elixir?"

Tears sprang to her eyes at the thought of Ye Hua being hurt without her there; she silently cursed herself for betraying this weakness in front of her Senior. Rapidly blinking them away, she said, "I should go to him." She moved, as if to rise, but the movement was arrested when her gaze landed on Die Yong's unconscious form, his arms folded across his chest.

She was torn; worry over what had happened to Ye Hua was eating away at her, warring with her duty to stay and be vigilant. There was anger there on how he had kept it all a secret. But she also knew that if she did go, if she gave up her vigil, she would leave shifu unprotected, making all of this for naught. Ye Hua's sacrifice, and she knew that it was a sacrifice, would be wasted. "I can't." She sat back down. "Senior," she murmured, looking at him, "I would like to be alone."

Nodding his head in understanding, Die Feng left the room, leaving her with her increasingly morose thoughts.

Sitting at Die Yong's bedside, Bai Qian took deep breaths, forcing herself to calm. She had kept silent for too long. Ye Hua was her husband; he had become her heart, but he didn't know that. Did he think that he owed it to her to risk his life because they were married? Were his actions out of obligation? Her fingers slowly curled into fists. He had to know how precious he was to her. Her shoulders slumped, as she gazed unseeing at the sleeping figure in front of her, nails biting into the softness of her palms. How would he know when no words of caring had ever passed her lips?

Was the price of her silence his willingness to endanger himself so greatly? He must feel something for her; she couldn't believe that Ye Hua would have risked his life out of obligation; that was too great a burden to put on their newly formed relationship. He must feel something for her beyond duty owed. Was it possible his feelings had reached the depths that hers had?

Her mind strove for clarity.

He had done it alone; there had been no news, no rumors of the crown prince fighting the Four Beasts. In the time that she had spent with him, she had come to know him very well indeed. Ye Hua was secretive; he had a tendency to hide things close to his heart. After all, he hadn't even told his own wife of his plans. If she had known, she would have stopped him, told him that they could do this together. But he hadn't come to her, and, after fighting the battle, he had sent Zhe Yan with the elixir.

She slammed her fist down on her knee, anger overriding any other concern. Didn't he care if he lived or died? Didn't he care what his death might mean to his wife?

. . . . . . . . . . . .

'Ye Hua, do your actions mean you don't care at all or that you care too much?'

**

High God Zhe Yan expended that last necessary bit of energy, exhaling carefully when he felt that pull inside of him that hinted at oncoming fatigue; it wasn't a familiar feeling. When he had entered the room, the Crown Prince had been lying before him, his features a sickly yellow. That yellow had faded, replaced by the pink of health blooming in his cheeks, his eyes sparkling once more.

When Zhe Yan had received the frantic message from the Nine Heavens envoy, he had known it would be because of this reckless Crown Prince. There had been a moment of disquiet at seeing how pale the Crown Prince had become since their last meeting, but he had ruthlessly quashed it, knowing that his injuries were nothing that he could not fix. The early morning hours ensured that they had been largely left alone over the course of the treatment, but he had felt no compunction in ordering the Crown Prince's aides out for this next bit of conversation.