{Under Editing} Safe Haven - Book One [BxB|18+]✓

Prologue

Please do feel free to correct my writings :)

If I abandoned love, I'd be a man without dreams
I'd rather be out there staring death right between its eyes now
And I can still hear the sound of you crying through the night
There in the opera house with no one else for miles

Cigarettes After Sex - Opera House

___________________________

It's surprising. The weather is nice with the sun softly shining amongst the clouds in the sky. It is not too hot, which is quite odd since for the last few days, the sun was blaring so brightly as if it was mad at the world. But now, despite still blinding, the sunray feels warm, only giving light kisses on my cold skin.

...Cold. On second thought, yes. I do feel cold despite the heat of the weather. It's odd...

But despite being hot, there's a gentle breeze that softly caresses the hair on my forehead. My eyes catch the view as I continue to lay on the grassy ground. And despite everything starting to feel numb, I can feel the itch forming from the strand continuously tickling my forehead.

I want to scratch it. I really do. But both of my hands refused to move. It's hard to even lift a finger, let alone a full hand. So with that in mind, I quickly and easily gave up the idea.

Funny. Never have I thought there would be a time for me to be this weak. This must be comparable to what he had felt when I left him. That train of thought earns a soft chuckle from my throat, but I notice that my lips don't seem to move along for me.

I can smell it. The smell of metal. 

The warm liquid beneath me is in contrast with my slowly turned cold body. Tiny shards of glass seem to stab my back, forcing me to be awake because of the pain. There's no need for me to see how much the liquid came out from my own body because I can feel the life seeping out of me.

I can hear murmuring sounds around me. The sound of people shouting, the distant sound of sirens. But, I don't care. For once, I just want to shut down all my senses and not care. I feel tired.

I'm tired of running. I'm tired of my life. Tired to please everyone. The neverending demand from them for impossible things is suffocating.

For a long time, I tried. I tried so hard to be loved, yet nobody in this world seems to care. to take a glance at me. Nobody except him. But, without a second thought, they take him away. The only person I need to keep me alive. My one and only source of happiness.

They take away my safe haven.

Cruel

This world is so cruel. I don't understand what did I do to deserve this. Why? What's wrong with all of this? What's wrong with my life? What did I do wrong?

Is it that bad wanting to live?

Why can't they leave me alone?

Am I so sinful and dirty for this world?

Why?

How come?

Is it that bad to love someone?

I can feel my usual turmoil heart begin to beat slower as time passes by. My eyes suddenly feel heavy, urging me to close my eyes, and I did. The darkness soothes me and welcomes me in its arms. For once, I finally feel peace. I haven't felt this in a while, not after he was gone.

Tired. I feel tired. I just want to rest. The idea of dying suddenly seems not so scary anymore. Maybe this is not bad after all. Maybe this is for the best. So I don't need to please them anymore. I don't have to pretend that I'm okay.