Gone Forever

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NOT ACCURATE TO THE BOOKS
REFERENCE TO SUICIDE
MALFOY'S POINT OF VIEW

             The next weeks went just as I feared. I had gotten no response from Y/N even though I had written her everyday. "Princess, where are you? Are you safe? Please respond and let me know you're okay." I rolled the parchment up and tied it to Salazar's leg. I haven't seen Daisy ever since that last letter either.

             As Salazar flew off I saw another owl coming in. "Daisy?" I thought. But as the owl approached nearer, I saw that this bird was far too large to be Daisy. The large grey owl landed right in front of me and held out its leg which had a sealed envelope attached to it. I hurriedly took off the letter from its leg and opened the silver seal. "Malfoy, I am getting very worried. Y/N hasn't responded to any of my letters. I'm beginning to think that the nightmare we have been pushing away is our reality; I think Y/N may be... dead-" I looked at that one word. I had always known it was a possibility because
Y/N has already attempted, but seeing it on paper made it a reality.

             I felt tears form in my eyes. I blinked rapidly to push them away as I continued reading. "-or at least in big trouble. We all know that You-Know-Who is possibly still at large. Do you think he might have taken her? I don't want to think about it either. As far as I have gotten, I've found no way of reaching her. Daisy is with me up in Paris, and refuses to go home. I suppose we'll have to wait one more day-" I hadn't realized until now that today was the last day of winter break. "-if
Y/N is still... alive, we'll see her tomorrow. Filled with worry, Hermione Granger"

             Thinking about Y/N possibly being dead- I couldn't think straight. I saw Potter quickly walking over to me. "Malfoy, I haven't heard from Y/N lately. Do you know where she is?" He asked. I stood up and faced him, and watched as my vision went blurry from tears gathering in my eyes. "I've been writing Granger about that and..." I couldn't bring myself to say it. "We'll go on, spit it out then." Said Potter. "We think she might-" I paused. "We think she's dead, Potter." I said. The word "dead" felt like salt on my tongue. A word so familiar yet it didn't feel right in my mouth.

             I felt a tear roll down my left cheek. I quickly wiped it away. "No- that's impossible. She's not." Said Potter. "Potter, she was suicidal." I said. Ouch. Even hearing myself say it, punched me in the gut. I felt like throwing up. I imagined her going up to a rooftop, and leaning over, trying to find a sweet release from torture. Then I imagined her falling. Like a rag doll, willingly but painfully. The thought of it scared me. I walked back to my dorm and threw myself onto my bed. I let the soft mattress swallow me as my pain took over my body. I wanted to cry. But no tears came. I felt nothing more than numb.

             I must have fell asleep there because I woke up the next morning in my bed, just as I had flopped down yesterday. I got out of bed and got ready for the day, even though I really didn't want to leave my bed. I felt depressed, anxious, but most of all, numb to any emotion. I headed downstairs to meet the train. Everyone was coming back today... well maybe not everyone. Even though I knew that there was only a slight possibility that Y/N would be arriving at Hogwarts, I still rushed down like a little boy on Christmas.

             Then I saw a small body with Y/H/C hair over her face. Head down to the floor. I ran over to the person. I lifted their chin gently with the pads of my fingertips. "Princess?" I asked. It was her. She's changed over the winter. She looked much thinner, paler, and puffy eyed. She looked away trying to loose eye contact. "Mr. Malfoy." She said. "Princess- what's going on. You haven't responded to any of my letters. Granger, Potter and I- we thought you were gone." I said quietly. I watched as her eyes filled with tears, still avoiding eye contact. "I'm very sorry Mr.Malfoy for not responding, but I have been busy." She said. She sniffled, and I thought that she was about to break down into tears, but instead she said "now I really should be going. Goodbye Mr. Malfoy." She turned and started walking away. I grabbed her arm, but she just yanked it back, and continued on her way.

           I walked back in the castle alone, and saw Granger. She ran up to me and she was crying. "What do you want mudblood." I snapped at her. She hugged me tight and said "Oh Malfoy, she's dead. She's not here." She sobbed into my shoulder, and as much as I hated her company, I needed someone right now. I knew exactly what she meant. Y/N was dead. She was gone forever and we would never get her back.

             "I know. She's gone. Forever." I whispered weakly. I started to cry silently as Granger's loud sobs echoes the halls. Thank god no one was around to see me crying. Especially with that mudblood.

             I thought back to when she stepped out of the train. The cruel-ness of her gaze avoiding mine after weeks of not hearing from her. The tears gathering in her Y/E/C eyes. Her soft gaze gone cold and stiff. The painful formality that she had addressed me with. She reminded me almost of my father in a way.

             "Where did she go? Whoever that is, it's not Princess. There's no light. Just an empty weight. No sunshine. Where are you Princess?" I thought.

AUTHOR'S NOTE
If anyone was confused, no. You're not dead but you're acting distant and unlike yourself. That's why they said she's gone or she's dead. This is FAR from the last chapter, and this is NOT A DRAMIONE story. I just thought it would be helpful to show a weaker/ vulnerable side of Draco. Please vote it you enjoyed it! Baiiiii ❤️❤️

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