The Devil / Peaky Blinders [ON-HOLD]

FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN - SNAP
(12/05/2021)

She woke up to the sound of shouting in the betting shop, she had dozed off after Thomas put her into bed, rightfully so. She wiped the drool from the side of her mouth and moved, wincing. The emotional pain, it was all very intense. A feeling so bad, she had never hoped to experience but here she was, slowly resenting herself. She removed herself from the bed and moved down towards where the betting shop was, not before taking one of the oatmeal cookies she spotted on the bedside table and crunching on it, she found herself hovering from one step to another, groaning every time her feet hit the stairs.

She entered the betting shop through the house and saw the whole family looking angered and the house looking like an absolute mess. Everything was knocked over and ornaments, glasses were smashed.

"What the bloody hell happened here?" She spoke up and all eyes turned onto her and Tommy's eyes widened at the sight of her, she should be in bed, he thought to himself. She had on a long nightgown and a housecoat covering her but she still looked as beautiful as the day be met her. She was beautiful, standing there.

"The Lees, all of them. Cousins, nephews. Even the bastards. They've taken anything they can lay their hands on. Four cash boxes. To top it of, they left wire cutters as a fucking joke. Nearly bombed Finn in my car." Thomas answered her as he placed his hands over his face and sighed, if he wasn't stressed out before, he was now. Now, he had to deal with Billy Kimber and the Lee brothers.

"Hmm." She hummed, not showing an inch of emotion and attempted to tidy up the mess that had been made. Thomas raised his eyebrow at the disconnection he felt, she had barely reacted to Finn's near death experience.

"Where is Finn?" She snapped out of her trance, finally interacting. She saw him, standing beside Arthur as she gave him a smile and kneeled down and opened her arms. He quickly ran over to her and melted into her motherly embrace.

"I've missed you, Pax." He delicately sniffed, she patted his back as she rocked them back and forth, soothing him.

"I think I've missed you more, why don't you go up to your room and start getting your school uniform ready for tomorrow eh. I'll be up soon."

He quickly ran up the stairs away from the commotion leaving everyone awkwardly standing as Pax failed miserably to clean the mess that the Lee's had left. John looked at Tommy, almost in pity.

"Go back to bed, ae. Don't be lifting things in your condition." John told her as he looked at Tommy and Tommy agreed with John Boy.

"And what condition is that? Am barren, not a fucking idiot." She snapped at John, her Scottish accent more prominent as she got more angrier and frustrated with herself.

"Pax, I-I didn't. You know that's not what I meant." John stuttered, afraid to say anything else incase she bit his head off. She continued to tidy up the mess, all the boys joined in helping her, not wanting her to do all the work. Nobody said anything, too afraid she would release her Scottish temper onto them.

She was struggling, everyone could tell.

Thomas slowly touched her hand, making her grimace at the contact. He took her hand and pulled her away from the kitchen, she followed him up into the bedroom which she was sick of seeing the sight now. She was also aware that Tommy had went to the races with a certain blonde barmaid which had set off alarms in her mind, she didn't want him to comfort her. John had told her, when he had a moment alone with her, he thought it was only right to tell her. It wasn't a date, he had reassured her. John classed it as business...business, in his dreams.

She sat in the edge of the bed, watching every movement her husband made, her gaze hard as she finally spoke,

"How was the races? I heard a lovely blonde accompanied you."

He stopped and turned, sighed.

"It was business, Pax. She was a business transaction between myself and Kimber. He took a shine to her, so I said fuck it, I'll give him a few hours with her to seal the deal." He explained slowly as she moved away from him when he moved closer to her. He was hurt as the rejection he felt when she moved away from him.

"Was she worth it?" She asked, voice stone cold.

"I stopped it. I was crossing the line using a woman for my own plot. The guilt was eating away at me."

"Good, I'm glad the guilt eats away at you."

"Pax, I would never - you know that. It's me and you against the world." He spoke clearly and she clung into every word. She couldn't believe what he was telling her, he had been off with Grace to the races and hadn't said a word to her about it. She was disappointed, her anger flowed through her views like lava.

"You didn't have the decency to tell me." She scoffed, she couldn't bare to look at the husband she loved dearly.

"You told me to keep secrets if they weren't necessary to know." His face contorted into one with confusion.

"What would you like me to say, Thomas?" She asked, detaching herself from the conversation with her husband.

"Say something, please, anything." He begged.

"I don't care enough to say anything. Now piss off and let me grieve in peace." She growled at him as she removed her housecoat and dropped into bed without saying anything word to her husband.

She was over emotional half the time and had been since she had found out and lost a baby at the same time. She felt doomed, her marriage was strained to say the least. She had been through so much that she was tired of being tired-

Tired of being sad.

She knew Ada and Freddie had returned from London but she also knew that Thomas had told her sister to stay away from her because now, Ada was heavily pregnant. They all feared that if Ada was around Pax, it would send her into a spiral of hatred which if she found out, she would have scoffed at the idea and damned them all. She hated herself, not her sister in law.

"Pax, you know I'm yours and only yours."