Lost and Found

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Amelia glanced sideways at Sol after drying her eyes and composing herself a little more. He was watching her but didn’t acknowledge her, and when she smiled he looked away. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to hear him out, end all links and move on. Instead she was angry, frustrated and disappointed.

Li waved apologetically from across the room, she was being swamped for interviews and photographs, and Amelia smiled, she didn’t want to disturb her, but she was finding it ridiculous to sit and be ignored by Sol. So when Malcolm, the man to her right moved to go to the bar, she sidled across to Sol and tapped his arm. He turned and surprise shot across his face.

                “I may not have been the most polite to you back in London, and I’m sorry that you were raw from Helena leaving you. But I have to say, I don’t deserve your anger, not like this. I have never hurt you, ever.”

Without giving him the opportunity to reply, she stood and made for the bar, she wouldn’t put up with anymore from him, that she was determined about. At the bar she ordered a large bourbon, straight. She found the bitter mash always complimented a bad mood. At the rear of the room a door led out onto a similarly decorated balcony, and suddenly the desire to breathe fresh air, to move out of the spotlight was paramount.

As she leaned on the railing, propped on her forearms, nursing the tumbler in her hands, she sighed. Why was she always hiding outside at these events? She internally shook herself; she needed to get a grip. She was here for Li, beautiful generous Li who had just dedicated her first ever literary award to her, and she was being selfish, hiding.

Taking a deep breath she was about to finish her drink and head indoors when she heard a voice behind her, the other side of the door. It was Sol, talking to someone whose voice she didn’t recognise and could barely hear.

                “No thanks, it’s a great offer, but I really need to just relax. I’ve had a rough few months. And these late nights are getting too much for me.” She couldn’t hear the other voice but his reply again was clear. “Yes, I literally can only stay tonight, my flight landed at six this evening, so I’m not sure what time zone I’m in! I’m not great when I’m tired, so I’ll leave before I become too grouchy.”

Her heart bled as she heard the resignation in his voice, despite everything that had happened she still cared about him. Sol laughed at whatever was said, then added, “I know it was great to see you too!”

Instead of silence, Amelia heard footsteps join her on the balcony. Turning around she saw him stopped in his tracks in the doorway. As much as she hated to admit it, he looked divine, and there was something homely, familiar and comforting about the sight of him, but she couldn’t think like that.

Neither wanted to speak first, but eventually after an interminable silence, Sol offered, “I thought no one else would be out here. I should’ve known...”

She nodded awkwardly, suddenly she’d lost all track of the rebukes, the anger that had filled her earlier. Amelia felt pity and sympathy for the man who had been her friend for so many years, “We always did both run away from pressure.”

He nodded with a wry smile, “that we did.”  He held a beer in his hand, and lifting the bottle he tipped a good measure into his mouth. “I’m sorry for how I was in London, and I’m sorry I was so angry earlier. I haven’t handled anything very well. There’s so much going on...” He shook his head and looked at the floor for a minute. “Hard to cope with things moving outside of your control when you’ve been commanding in all walks of life for so long!”

She pondered that for a moment, “does that mean me?”

He laughed in the same ironic way, “Since October last year I don’t think I’ve been in control in any part of my life. You reappearing at that exact moment may have been a pure coincidence? But I doubt it!”