Lost and Found

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sol drove for several minutes in complete silence; he hadn’t even given her a kiss on the cheek as a hello. Amelia was more than pensive, she was scared. Over the last few days the expectation had been there that she WOULD be with Sol, the question had only been when, now she didn’t know. Watching his white knuckles gripping the steering wheel, he was almost oblivious to her as he cut through the streets.

Finally he pulled to the side of the road, in a quiet leafy residential street. Despite being early November it was a mild evening, and when he jumped out of the car, he didn’t look for a jacket, but started pacing the pavement as he waited for her to similarly disembark.

Wringing her fingers together she paused before speaking to him, “so what’s happened Sol?”

When he looked at her there were tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry Meals, this can’t happen...”

She gulped trying to move the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat, “What’s happened?”

He paced a few more steps before lowering himself to a bench, she sat beside him, “You’re scaring me now Sol, what is it?”

Sighing he looked at her, “Helena was late back from the airport, I was going to pick her up...but I was trying to sort things out,” Sol shook his head, “I got a call from the hospital, she’d collapsed in the arrival hall, an ambulance had been called.” Amelia knew he was fighting his emotions, “when I got there she was in surgery...I didn’t know what was happening, there was a lot of rushing around, her parents were there...she never sees them, I knew it was bad.”

He closed his eyes, throwing his head back, “then the doctor came out, I was stunned, he said she’d been pregnant, the collapse was because it was ectopic. It caused damage, they operated to try and stop the bleeding, apparently she was haemorrhaging uncontrollably. The only way to save her was to give her a hysterectomy.”

Amelia felt an unconscious gasp, suddenly feeling pity for this woman, “oh my God, how is she?”

He shook her head, “we never wanted kids, well it was never on our list of priorities, in fact...” he groaned, “well anyway, she’s lying in a hospital bed beside herself. She blames herself, hates herself.”

“We always want what we can’t have!”

Nodding he ran his fingers through his hair, “so it seems. She’s asked me to go, to leave her, find someone less barren, those were her exact words. But I can’t leave her, not now.”

Whilst she could understand his predicament, she suddenly realised what the implications of this were, “so we’ve got to end this?”

“She needs me, more than you do. I’m sorry, I really am.”

She wanted to be gracious, let this go with dignity and pride, but her own pain was clouding her judgement, “so you’ll give it up ‘us’ out of guilt and pity and sympathy for her?”

His hands were still in her hair when he turned to her, angry, “I do love her, and I do owe her some commitment, surely you can see that? In a few months we should have been married, and then this would have been my responsibility. As it is, she’s broken, ending this will now will finish her, you’re strong, you’ll find someone else!”

She stared at him, wide eyed, trying to stop her tears, her anger come gushing out, “I’ve not found anyone else in ten years, I’ve wanted you since I was six! What makes you think anything’s different now?”

He cupped her jaw, thumb stroking her cheek in an already familiar gesture, as he tried to smile, “you will Hot-Meal-ia, you’ll find someone who can be who you want them to be, you’ll see!”