QUEENPIN.

crossroads.

jaleah's perspective.

I lay in bed, scrolling through Instagram, smiling at all of the pictures and videos that were posted from my party while Izzy is in his car, smoking. I had so much fun tonight with Izzy teaching me how to skate and spending time with my closest friends, plus reconnecting with Tory, and I'm happy Izzy was that thoughtful to do something like that for me. It really shows how much he cares about me. I'm so lucky to have him in my life.

I feel so bad though. As much as I do love him and I'm happy for everything he's done for me and given me, I still don't feel ready to have sex with him. I don't know what it is, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Maybe I'm not confident enough in my body, maybe I'm scared he'll be too rough and won't guide me and take things slow, or maybe I'm just not ready. No matter what though, it's not happening tonight.

Izzy comes back into the room, smelling like weed, and goes to get in the shower. Once he's out and dressed, he climbs into bed with me, getting comfortable and laying his head on my chest. This entire weekend we've been laid up like a couple that's been together forever and I honestly love it.

"Babe."

"Wassup?" Izzy answers.

"Would you be mad if we didn't have sex for a while, even though we're in a relationship now?" I nervously ask him.

"Jaleah, we haven't done anything but kiss yet and I still made you my girl. I already know what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with. I'm not gon pressure you into doing anything."

"Okay. I just didn't want you to be expecting anything to happen tonight since it's our last night in the hotel."

"Guess what, Jaleah." He says.

"What?"

"I love you."

I blush, "I love you too."

We get comfortable in bed and cuddle up to one another, then drift off to sleep.

—

the next morning.
israel's perspective.

"You know, I can just go get my stuff right now & move into this dorm. Or we can just pack ya shit up and we can go back to my crib." I joke with Jaleah. I really did like spending this whole weekend with her, though. I wish I could wake up to her every morning.

"Yeah right, Izzy." She smiles, leaning up against the doorframe. "I need to start getting ready for the week though, so you gotta go. I'll call you before I go to bed."

"Fine. I love you. Be safe."

"I love you more." She stands on her tippy toes and gives me a peck on the lips. "Don't get into any trouble, okay?"

"If I do, I got some bail money in-"

She cuts me off, "Goodbye Israel." She smiles before closing the door on me. I chuckle and walk off, down the dorm hall.

Before I leave Temple's campus, though, I make sure to make some money. I gotta make money everywhere I go, but especially places like a college campus. These kids be so broke, but they damn sure make sure they got money for some weed. Especially the thirsty ass bitches that's just tryna talk to me.

As I get in my car, I check my phone one last time to make sure nobody else hits me up before I leave campus. I get an Instagram DM from a girl that lives nearby, so I decide to do this one last delivery and then go home for the night.

I get to her house and she gets in the car with me. She starts counting her cash and realizes she's short. "I only got $8, but I promise you I'm good for it. I literally get paid tomorrow, I'll cash app you or whatever." She pleads.

I sigh, "I'm cool shawty, you made me come over here for nothin."

I reach for my keys to start my car back up but she stops me, "I'll do something for you and give you the $8 if you give me the dime bag."

"Something like what?"

She starts rubbing on my pants, toying with my belt. In the back of my mind is Jaleah. I can't cheat on her, at least not yet. But my commitment issues plus the lack of sex ain't helping. On one hand, I love her and don't want to hurt her, and on the other hand I have needs that need to be satisfied and I don't want to pressure her to do anything she doesn't want to do. I'm stuck at a crossroads.