Ten Nights ( moonsun )

I n t r o d u c t i o n

September 26, 2019

It all feels like a dream...

No, a nightmare to be exact.

But sadly, this is reality. The cruel reality we are all living in.

Solar has been diagnosed with a heart disease. She is now admitted at Seoul National University Hospital, inside a vip room which was requested by our company and her family.

I clearly remember what the doctor said and I clearly remembered their faces on the sudden news.

•Flashback•

"I don't think she has much time left. Her heart could stop in any minute."

"H-how much time do you think she has left?" Mr. Kim asked

"Based on our checkups and monitoring. We think she has less than eleven days"

'I can't visit her on mornings so that means...' i thought

"N-nooo i-it c-can't be...." Mrs. Kim cried out

We were just so shocked that we can't process anything at the moment. All of us are ready to burst out.

"I'm sorry but we just need to be prepared for the worst."

We took a minute of silence to take in the sudden information.

"S-so what can we do to save her doc?" Yong's mother asked

I looked at the doctor and what I heard took a toll on my mind.

"She will need a heart transplant. And for that we need a heart donor"

'I have possibly ten nights left with her'

•End of Flashback•

Floor 31.

Room 106.

I looked at the room number again as my trembling hand slowly got a hold of the door knob.

A sweat slid down my forehead, heart beating as fast as it can be,blood rushing on my ears.

My mind is running at 100 miles per hour. Unable to comprehend what is currently happening.

I shake my head as a sudden thought crosses my mind.

'no, she will be fine....she should be and she would be'

I slowly opened the door and stepped inside the room.

It is dimly lit but I can clearly identify the people sitting across the bed.

The room is painted white with a large glass window overlooking the city.

There on the couch are my members sleeping.

I walk towards them and adjust the only blanket that is barely covering the two.

When I was done, I took the courage to turn around and look at her.

There she is sleeping beautifully as the moonlight shines on her delicate face.

A small smile appears on my face but is instantly replaced with a sad one.

There I can also hear the beeping noises of different machines connected to her body. I can see lines on a screen signaling her heartbeat.

I sat myself a stool right beside her as my hand took in her hand. Rubbing my thumb on the back of her palm while I tuck in a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Why does it have to be you, Yong?"

I simply asked her.

"Why can't it be just me?"

I asked her again but not a single word was uttered.

I reminisce the memories we had, our first encounter, our trainee days, our stupid fights including some cereals , nights full of nonsense laughter, our han river adventures were we shed tears, and the day i realized that i had fallen in love with you.

I looked outside the glass window and saw the moon shining brightly and then the night sky that was filled with stars.

"You know Yong, my grandma said that if someone dies they become a star and will look down at us and guide us on our journey in life." I said

I caress her cheek just like how I used to do.

"But I think there are too manys stars to add one now or soon, right?" A painful smile formed on my face

"I can't let you be a star yet Yong, i can't let you go that easily" as my eyes are bow filled with unshed tears

"I can't lose you now that i didn't even have a chance to say i--"

I stopped.

I can't bear to say it.

I don't wanna hurt myself anymore.

But i know in the end i will be the one left hurting, again.

"I love you, Yong" i whispered

"I love you Kim Yongsun and i won't let them take you away from me"

Now tears are streaming down my cheeks sobs echoing inside the room.

"Even though what we have is a one sided love."

I wipe the tears by my sleeve and inhales a sharp breath.

"Ten nights is all i have left to find a donor for you."

"Ten nights is all i have left to possibly not let you go."

"Ten nights left for me to say my feelings to you"