John Parker mb/s

Inactive? Delete?

I was thinking of going inactive.. Or Deleting. And I am serious about this..
I mean... Like hope, it's slipping.. leaving..
And well.. I'm hanging on.. but I feel like an egoistical jerk..

And I feel like I've been hurting everyone. No scratch that. I Have been hurting everyone I care about. Amber, (Yes, I really do care about you amber. And I really feel bad about all the trouble I caused you)

And the only way to save everyone else is to delete.

I'm really convinced at that.
Because we all know, and I will admit, that a lot of times I say stuff that I don't do. Like how I said I Wasnt going to be on for a week and only check on Friday and Tuesday.

Well, the only way to make sure I don't come on is to delete.

Should I? be honest
Because honestly I am entirely Serious. I just keep thinking about it, and I'm more convinced it would be better. I mean here's all the good stuff of me deleting:

1. A lot less drama FOR EVERYONE
2. Amber wouldn't be mad at me, well I don't know. I guess she sorta would..
3. Gwenxstacy would maybe end up with Peter, making people very happy with that ship. And there would be a lot less drama for her.
5. No one would have to deal with all the mayhem I cause.

Bad:
I guess I would never see Gwen or amber or anyone else again.. again that can be a good thing.
I would be really bored.

Yeah.
I don't know what's what anymore.

And after I leave, I request that Xycodie PUBLISHES a book on my REAL LIFE backstory.
To explain why I was the way I was.
Because even though she probably told Some people,
I know her, and she wouldn't tell the entire thing.
Yeah she would tell a big chunk of it.
But she would be leaving out a very small but crucial point.

Yeah.
I may delete. I may not. While Im thinking about it, I will try to distance my self from you guys.
I will still be on, just not talking much.
Just trying to decide.

I think it may be worth it.
I'm just not sure. This is so frusturating.
But right now I'm pretty deadpanned on deleting.

Mostly because
No one would have to put up with the trouble I cause.

Everyone would be more free, I guess.

Okay.
I don't know. I wanna stay, but I feel like its better if I delete.
Well. I'm just gonna log out right after I finish this chapter.

Don't even try to talk to me.
Because. I don't know.
I just gotta be alone.

Man, I feel like such a jerk by doing this.

But I think I should do what's right.

Is this right?

I don't know.