Aolani
"I haven't talked to my husband in two days, I don't know what's happening. We've never had an argument this big and right now I'm like do I need to take off my ring?"
"Lani...."
I looked at Jessica and shrugged my shoulders, this is how I feel. It's been two long days and I haven't even gotten the chance to talk to my husband. I know it works both ways, just like he can start talking so can I but we're both being stubborn.
"I don't do that. You two are made for each other, I'm honestly on your side. As woman and a mother I know how you feel, men don't really react how we react. I'm not saying this isn't hurting him because it most likely is. But it's affecting him in a different way, I don't think he fully understands the severity of your fertility issues. He might be covering up how he really feels to make sure you stay hopeful and you haven't even thought about that"
That's true I was more focused on how I felt and how I wanted to go about doing things. I didn't mean to yell at him or make him feel any type of way. I'm not going to make excuses for my behavior because I could have dealt with it in a better way. I see where he was coming from now that I've calmed down and really thought about it.
"He's so positive which is something you need but it can also be a downfall. While he's like alright we know this and that lets get back into the baby making. You're like wait, slow down and let me get this through my mind. And that's okay but you two have to talk without being offensive. You can be very headstrong Aolani.."
"I need to fix this mess, it's not a good feeling knowing your husband isn't talking to you. We're gonna work on it, I'm letting Nani win.."
"You better not let that bitch win, if he doesn't give in first you need to go in that room and put down. So good he forgets why he was mad, I got some fruit roll ups, works every time"
"That's the thing.. you put on th-"
"Mhmm.. try it, I'm telling you it works"
"I don't know, I'm a good girl"
"The hell you are. Go ahead and get yo man back!"
Makani walked in with his son on his hip, Malachi smiled the moment he seen me.
"What works? What are you telling my baby sister to do?"
"To use that fruit roll up trick"
"Don't be teaching my sister that, Aolani baby you don't do that. No eww I don't need that vision, Lord take me now"
"It gets your ass right every time though"
Jessica popped her lips and stuck her tongue out at him, he damn near lost it.. almost dropped Malachi too. I took my nephew from him and shook my head that's just freaky.
"Cat got your tongue babe?"
"Jessica stop that.. Lani you wanna take Malachi for a little while. Take him to get some ice cream?"
"Um.. I guess"
He threw me his coat and a twenty dollar bill and told us to have fun while pulling Jessica towards the steps.
"It's just me and you stink, let's go"
:
Prepared to go to bed alone again I pulled my covers back and climbed into bed. I'm literally lost without Shane, I miss him and he's in the room next door. We haven't talked at all since our little fight, we'll walk right pass eacother without saying a word. I go to work, he goes to work, we come home and we go our separate ways.
It's never been this way, I care about how he feels. At that moment I was caught up in my own emotional mood. I appreciate and love Shane so much, I'd do anything for him. I didn't mean any harm when I said maybe we jumped the gun by getting married. I just felt like we didn't really discuss certain things, we didn't put everything on the table.
I don't doubt our marriage, I have faith that we'll get through the issues that have come our way. I wish we dealt with them in a better way though, the argument went two ways. I wasn't the only one saying things that may have come off in a rude manner. So therefore we both have to take responsibility and one of us has to initiate the apology.
There is no right in the situation because we're both adults we should have sat down and talked it out. I was always taught you never go bed angry, you never know who you'll wake up to see. I didn't sleep at all last night, I've gotten used to having Shane beside me every night.
"Aolani, baby you sleep?"
"No.."
I sat up in bed and turned the lamp on, Shane was standing in door way with his pillows.
"Can I sleep with you?"
"Yeah"
He hurried over to the bed and put his pillows down and climbed in bed next to me. He moved extra close and held onto me. I rolled my eyes and reached over to cut the light back out..
"I missed you, I tried be mad at you but I love you girl"
"I missed you too"
"Why you ain't come get me then?"
"You went in the guest room, I never told you to and then you called yourself ignoring me"
"I was trying to teach you a lesson. I can't go more than a day without being next to you"
He grabbed on my booty and smiled like a big kid. "I missed that booty too"
"Go to sleep"
"Uh uh, we gotta lot of making up to do"
"No seriously Shane we have to talk"
He groaned and put his face in boobs, still squeezing me. I grabbed his arms and tried my hardest to them from around my waist. He lifted his head and looked at me for a while before talking.
"Talk, I'm listening. Your boobs smell good, like coconuts"
"Stop sniffing my boobs"
He shook his head no, I'll never get him to move anytime soon so I guess I'll say what I have to say.
"I'm sorry for the things I said, I didn't mean any of it.."
"I know"
He lifted his head and layed it on my stomach, he's a big ass baby and I've missed that about him.
"I know you didn't mean any of that, we both said things we didn't mean. I understand now that you just needed time. I was never upset at you though"
"If you weren't upset why didn't you talk to me and come to bed?"
"You told me not too, you don't remember saying. Don't bring your ass in my room, don't even look to me. Better yet sleep on that damn couch!"
"No.. and even if I did. You know I was just mad, I didn't mean it"
"It's alright, now where do you wanna go from here? Should we stop or keep trying?"
"I really do wanna give it another try, It was just a lot on my mind that day. I've thought about and I've come to the realization that everything will work out for the best. I just want us to come up with a plan, like how much longer we should try until we seek help. We need to start saving if we do have to go through the ivf process"
"Okay we can do that, as long as you haven't given up I'm all for it. I'm willing to do what ever it takes, if you wanna have everything planned out fine. I'll get the pen you just tell me what to write. But we can talk about that tomorrow, it's time to try again"
He started to pull my shirt up, I sat up as he lifted it over my head. Leaving me in my leopard print bra, I guess you can say I knew I'd get lucky tonight. And maybe, just maybe I'll use that fruit roll up technique..
