No Angels

Chapter 24

It was one of those cold, crisp mornings and the park was almost empty. Nina decided she should come with me, and she brought Ed the dog too. I smiled a little as I thought of myself falling flat on the ground, Ed's collar slipping from my grasp, and Kian stopping to help me up. Suddenly I felt the same heavy ache that I had felt in my heart late last night, the lingering thought that it could all be over soon. I checked my texts from the night before. I read the conversation with Kian to see if it held any clues to how he felt. But it didn't. The only thing to see were arrangements for this morning, where we would meet up, what time and whatever.
"Um, Nina?" I mumbled.
"Yeah?"
"I just have to walk up that hill there to get to the place I'm meeting him. I think it's probably best if you wait here. I just feel like I should be doing this on my own." I said. She gave me a little smile.
"Okay. I'm going to give Ed a walk, and I'll meet you here at like ten?" Nina asked.
"Yeah, sure." I replied, and I hugged her tightly. As nauseatingly cheesy as it sounded, I didn't know what I would have done had I not had Nina with me last night. She'd been such a good friend when I really needed her, and I was so grateful. She started walking away but turned after a few strides to blow me a kiss. I laughed a little, despite the questionable impending doom that I was approaching. I took out my earphones and touched shuffle. I started making my way up the hill, and gritty guitar chords opened an Arctic Monkeys song. When I got to the top of the hill, Kian was already waiting at the bench we sat at that night after Cara John's birthday party. It was the night of our first kiss. When I got closer, I saw Kian bruised face and gasped. I pulled out my headphones.
"I'm so sorry! I can't believe my brother did that to you?" I sat beside him on the bench, careful to distance myself a little.
"Uh, yeah. It doesn't really hurt that bad, though. I punched Harry a lot harder." Kian said all serious, but then a slight smirk spread across his face. Flashbacks of the previous night filled my head. Everything was just too overwhelming, and a few tears dripped down my face. I brought my legs up on to the bench, and tucked my knees into my chest, so Kian couldn't see my face, but it was too late.
"Hey, what's the matter?" He said gently as he tipped my chin up a little.
"I'm so sorry, I've just made such a mess. I argued with you and I was being so bratty and then I argued with my brother and.." I spluttered. Kian scooted up closer to me on the bench. He put his arms around the little ball of sadness that was my body. I rested my head against his shoulder as he brushed his hands across my arm comfortingly.
"It's all my fault." I said in a tiny voice. Honestly, between the previous night's tantrum and this breakdown, I was turning in to an emotional wreck.
"No, it's not. I shouldn't have punched Harry. I was just so defensive over you in that moment. I hated that he just kissed you when you didn't want him to. And I shouldn't have said that I thought you might have wanted to kiss Harry. Because I know you didn't, I was just angry." He said, his voice soothing.
"I know but I've just made such a big mess of things. I've never properly fought with Oscar before."
"Hey, your mess is mine from now on, okay?" Kian told me. I looked up at him and his perfect smile. It was like sunshine piercing through a long winter.
"Kian?" I said, my voice still quiet.
"Yeah, Ava?"
"I love you." I said. I felt him laugh a little. He pulled me onto his lap and kissed my cheek.
"I love you too, even though you can be a pain in the ass."