It's You That I Lie Awake

19

Kurapika POV

Last night?!

I stood up quickly, the table shaking at the force of me pushing out my chair. Killua and Leorio looked at me confused.

"I.." They both looked at me as if I were crazy. My face began to heat up from the embarrassment my outburst had brought.

"I'm..I need to go to the store!" I nodded quickly, plastering a fake smile on my face. Leorio raised a brow.

"I'll come with you!" He stood up, placing his hands on the table.

"No no! I need to go alone..business..stuff?" I quickly fled the room and ran into Leorio's bedroom. I quickly put on a t-shirt and pants, slipping on my regular flats. A simple disguise to hide myself from the men who shot at me just days before.

Days.

I'd only been here for two days, it felt like a lifetime to me. So much had happened-

I bit my lip to prevent myself from tearing up. I ducked my head behind my hair and quickly walked out of the bedroom and into the living room, not saying anything as I walked through the front door.

I could hear Leorio and Killua asking me where I went but after I shut the door it didn't matter to me.

I didn't have a wallet or anything, and definitely not a destination.

I started to jog, running away from the pain that was in that apartment.

I can't leave.

I have nothing left once I leave.

The air was crisp, despite it being late summer. I ran through the streets, trying to drown out my feelings with the loud city sounds. Anything to escape the dread that would come tomorrow.

Without them, I don't know if I'll make it.

It's no secret I am unstable. I carry a lot of emotional baggage, too much. Leaving Leorio's..it'll be leaving my will to live.

Stop it Kurapika! The eyes! You need the eyes!

I scolded myself, running farther and faster.

How far had I gone?

What time is it?

I didn't know or cared.

Will I even be able to say goodbye?

Finally stopping, I leaned against a pole, staring at my surroundings. I had completely forgotten about the pain in my back. My body was numb under all my feelings.

I won't survive without Leorio.

I grit my teeth and shut my eyes, sliding down onto my butt, resting my head in my hands.

I can't go back to that apartment.

There is no way I can go back and face them.

I can't face Leorio.

How could I? After leaving-

"KURAPIKA!"

I looked up in shock, my eyes watery and my hair wild in the wind.

"DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Leorio screamed, slamming his car door shut. He was on the other side of the road. Killua and Gon were in the backseat of his car, staring out the window as Leorio sprinted across the busy street, he was still in pajamas.

"Leorio! What are you doing here? How did you find me?!" I stood up in complete shock.

"YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT!" He was about four feet away from me.

"Leorio I'm sorr-"

He grabbed my waist in a swift motion, stopping my sentence by pressing his lips against mine.

My eyes widened, but quickly I sunk into his embrace. His large arms holding me upright as he bent down, tears streamed down his face as he held me close. I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled myself close to him, my leg lifting slightly.

Despite all the cars, the people, buildings, Killua, Gon, and his pajamas, he still kissed me as if I were the only person in the world.

I had never felt more loved by a single person in my entire life. I probably would never feel that much love again.

Leorio pulled his lips away first, burying his face in my neck.

"You can't just leave like that." He whispered, his body shaking.

"I haven't been gone that long-"

"It's been three fucking hours Kurapika." He tightened his grip. "I thought you jumped off the bridge." He sunk to his knees, his forehead now resting on my stomach. A puddle formed beneath his head, heavy fat tears fell onto the ground.

He didn't stop shaking, even after he held onto me. I had no words, I just stood there completely dumbfounded.

"Kurapika!" Gon and Killua ran across the street, they immediately jumped onto me. I fell to my knees as each of the boys wrapped their arms around me, all three forming a tight circle around me.

"Don't do that again." Killua's voice was dangerous, but his actions were kind, he had his arms wrapped around my neck and his head rested on mine.

"We thought you died Kurapika." Gon looked up at me, his head was buried under my armpit. His eyes were fresh with tears as he nuzzled his nose into my side.

I stared at all three of them, they all had a tight grip on me, their faces hidden by my body. Three hours I had let them worry.

I sucked in a huge breath and began crying.