[Shadowhunter] Imagines

What are you hiding? - Raphael Santiago

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You are a vampire and live at Hotel Dumort. You are an incredible artist, but don't see it yourself and try to hide it.

Characters involved: You, Raphael Santiago

Triggers: None

Request: //

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You were humming an old song while sketching in your now almost full sketchbook on your bed. The once bright and white cover became yellow over the years and some stains of coffee decorated it.

You always loved to draw, especially back as a mundane. Sitting on your desk with all your art supplies, listening to the rain or the birds outside, drinking coffee and sketching for hours.

Time brought change. You still drew a lot, it helped you to cope with everything, especially your recent death. You were a vampire now. Needed to leave your home, your art supplies, inspiration, everything.

The bright and colorful doodles changed to a more realistic and dark drawing style. From drawing animals, plants and sceneries, you started to draw the people around you.

Being so focused on your work, you didn't hear anyone knock. The someone came in after knocking for the past three minutes.

The moment you heard the voice you startled and closed the book shut. "Y/N? You okay? We are in the dining room. It's dinner time. You forgot to feed once again. Join us."

It was Raphael, the clan leader. He stepped towards you and you just threw the book next to the bed on the other side and nodded.

"What were you reading?" He looked to where you threw the book. "That's not exactly how you treat a precious book. It's better not one from my library." He joked around and together you left.

The next day

You reached the last page of your sketchbook. You sighed and started to draw a man you saw in the bleeder den yesterday night.

Halfway through the sketch someone knocked once again. You immediately shoved the book under your blanket. "Come in."

It was Raphael. "Y/N, why do you always just sit there in your room?" He said directly and a bit strict.

You rose your eyebrows. "Excuse me, what do you mean?"

He chuckled. "What are you hiding?"

Annoyed you shrugged your shoulders. "Nothing. Why do you even care?"

Raphael sighed. "Because you are in my clan and my clan is basically my family and I want to know what my family does in their free time."

"I am doing nothing. All day long. There is not much to do here anyway." The words came out way more rude than intended and they were enough to make Raphael walk away, closing the door behind him.

You immediately felt guilty, but if you told him that you were drawing, he would have insisted on looking at the drawings. And you thought your drawings were horrible and embarrassing. It was better this way.

The next day

You were walking back from the dining room. Raphael was busy with his paper work, so he wasn't participating dinner.

Opening the door, you startled and thought you went into the wrong room. Raphael was sitting on the edge of your bed, a book in his hand.

Looking closer you realized the book. It was your old and now full sketchbook. "Hey, give that back! It's none of your business."

He chuckled. "That's the thing you hid? Dios, I thought you were a nephilim-blood-addict and secretly drank or anything like that, but this?"

He was just the very first pages. It was the phase where you drew sceneries. Running towards him, you took the book out of his hands.

"Hey, why won't you let me have a look on it? I didn't finish looking at the mountains." He snapped the book out of your hands again.

It ended in a little fight, taking the book out of each others hands. As if we were in a movie, the book slipped out of your hands and landed on the floor. Open.

It showed a side with a drawing of Sierra, one of the fellow clan members.

He kneeled down and carefully took the book in his hands. It had no use to riot, you just let him, preparing for some hateful and critecizing comments.

Raphael just stayed silent, slowly sitting down once again. His fingers wandered over the detailed sketch.

"Come on, say it's ugly. They all say that. Do it. Destroy the only joy that I have. It's okay." You sighed and let yourself sink next to him, burying your face in your hands.

"Y/N, it's... I can't describe it in words." You looked up.

He turned the page and a drawing of Jace appeared. His pale face was surrounded by darkness, just like everyone else's.

Raphael continued in silence. Caleb, Lily, Clary, Alec, Magnus, Simon. He laughed. "You drew the fledgling?"

The laughing stopped when he turned the page. A drawing of himself appeared. It was the only face that wasn't surrounded by darkness. The page seemed cleaner and lighter than all the others.

Raphael let his  fingers wander over his drawed face. "Why do you hide it?"

You chuckled. "Look at it. It's bad. Anyone could do that."

He shook his head no. "You are amazing in what you do. I've been alive for a while but I've never seen such a beautiful and detailed drawing. Please don't hide it. It's worth to be spread."

You remained silent and nodded, being not too sure about his words. "Why is every page so dark and mine is not?"

Not knowing how to explain, you stuttered. "Well... You know... While I have been here, everyone seemed to distant, so wrapped up in something. Talking with them... if they even talked to me... It felt so dark. But not with you. It felt different. I don't want to see your face surrounded by darkness."

He curled his lips into a smile and laid his arm around your shoulders, pressing you into his side.

The next day:

Again Raphael hasn't been there at dinner. Everything seemed dark. You opened your room, just to see Raphael in it, once again.

You rose your eyebrows. "I would appreciate it, if you would not sneak..." You stopped talking the moment you saw the new desk in the corner.

On top of the desk there were several sketchbooks and markers, pens, pencils...

"I didn't know what you would like to have, so I just got everything. Don't give up on what you are doing with heart and soul. Don't give it up, for anything in this world."