[WesleyStromberg] Our Flower

Two.

“No wonder why Wesley was so excited to get the hell out of here.” Her voice is loud, she means for it to be, she doesn’t want to whisper, that wouldn’t do her any good, because let’s face it, if I don’t hear what she’s saying then there’s no point of her saying anything. It’s been her mission, she wants to ruin me, I don’t really know why, what I did wrong, how I got into this mess, I don’t want to be in her vision or on her list of people to attempt to destroy, and when Wesley was around I never was, she didn’t have the courage to say something about me with him around.

It all began when I started dating him, it’s because of my relationship with him that she hates me, her and every other girl in this school, but at least they don’t try to make my life a living hell like she does, she’s horrible. He hated her, from the beginning of high school, freshman year, when she transferred into the school district and tried so desperately to get his attention, and I remember her throwing herself at him, constantly touching his arm, rubbing her fingertips along his arms, always sighing like it was attractive.

Charley rolls her eyes, sighing loudly, knowing that I listened to everything that Larissa said, I always hear her, always listen to her, I can’t turn a deaf ear because I'm not deaf and I can’t pretend that it doesn’t hurt because it does, I can’t not hear her. “She doesn’t have to know that everything between the two of you isn't what it used to be.” If she ever found out that Wes and I aren’t like we used to be, if we weren’t as close as we were, if we didn’t talk as much as we did, she would have a field day, she would hold it over my head for the rest of high school, and that’s a long time, that’s eight months.

I wasn’t planning on telling anyone that my relationship with Wesley is hardly a relationship, because when no one knows I can pretend like everything is fine, that fame isn't dominating. Fighting against fame is pointless, I'm not going to win, but I’d like to hang in there as long as I can, I can’t really imagine what it would be like without Wesley, I don’t want to think about that, but I'm not sure if he doesn’t want to think about what it would be like without me anymore.

The sun is shining, brightly, beaming down on the two of us, and the grass is cool against our bare arms, brushing against our clothes as the wind blows. “We’re going to talk all the time. I'm going to miss you, Kotah. I don’t think that I can do this.” His voice, it’s so close to cracking, and I know that he’s trying to be strong, to pretend that he’s not scared, but I know him better than that, he knows that I know how he’s really feeling, I don’t understand why he always has to act like a tough guy.

Sitting up slowly, placing my hands on the ground next to my thighs, I bite down on my lower lip, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Wes, they wouldn’t have said yes to you guys if they didn’t think that you could make it.” Usually it’s the other way around, he’s the one who is telling me that I'm insane to think the way I'm thinking, he’s the encouraging one and I'm the one who needs encouraging, but I’d always encourage him if he needed me to, and he knows that, that’s what I'm here for.

“What happens if they don’t like us? What am I going to do here?” Hearing that, I don’t know, I don’t know how to react to that, because I know that he doesn’t mean it in the way I first took it, I get that, he’s just worried, and I hate that he’s worrying. He’s so talented, so amazing, his voice sends shivers down my spine and he has what it takes, I know he does, he’s a performer. “Like, what if we get kicked out and we have to come back here and tell people that we didn’t even make it to the Judge’s Houses?”

Furrowing my eyebrows, I sigh softly, biting down on my lower lip as he sits up, running his hands through his hair. “Wesley, you're so talented. And with the guys, you're even better. If you go into it with this fear of being eliminated, then you won’t do well. You’re scaring yourself when you know that you’re good enough. What are you afraid of?” I know what I'm afraid of, I’ve known since he told me that they were auditioning, as Emblem 3, because I knew that Emblem 3 had a greater chance of getting through than Wesley Stromberg. Not that he couldn’t get through on his own, I believe in him, I know that he’s a great singer, but with Keaton and Chad he’s invincible.

Looking at me, his brown eyes so gorgeous, I love his eyes, he sighs, swallowing hard, like he has a lump in his throat. “What happens to us, Dakotah? We keep saying that we’re going to talk all the time, but what happens if we don’t? Are you still going to love me?”

I told him of course I would that day, that he was crazy for asking something like that, but, then again, I didn’t really pay attention to the fact that he asked what would happen to my love for him if we didn’t talk so often. It’s always a thought in the back of my mind that I'm the one who is responsible for this, that because I told him that I’d still love him he’s taking advantage of that and getting away with all of this since he can, since he knows I’ll be waiting for him when all of this is over.

“Hey, Charley, do you think that my mom would let us drive somewhere far tonight?” It’s a Friday night, we don’t have school tomorrow, I’ve been dealing with Larissa for a while, I’ve been without my boyfriend for even longer at this point, and I just want to do something spontaneous, something unlike me, because this is so unorthodox of me to want to do something impulsive. Charley knits her eyebrows together, cocking her head to the side, silently questioning why I want to know, probably wondering why I would ask such a question. “Do you want to take a drive to Hollywood?”