Omnia Vincit Amor

XI.

"Espice, adspice, prospice." -Latin phrase

Look behind, look here, look ahead.

It has now been six months ever since they started the private lessons. Edward was definitely improving on a larger scale and Brett was enjoying teaching at the conservatory. Brett, however, does not forget to go to older violinists and past teachers to become better. No one could really master violin playing or any other type of instrument. You could only keep on going until the day you die and with instrument playing, you only improve and improve. There is no stopping on improvement when it comes to instruments.

Brett's feelings have long been suppressed but Edward simply cannot keep his hands to himself now. Brett pretended that he does not see the younger man's advances. He might just be looking more into it than he should. It was impossible that they younger man would like him. Although, no one could really deny the feeling that only sparks up when it is only the two of them. The butterflies and the fire in their veins, it was simply beautiful yet elegant. Under this beauty lies the guilt of being in love with a person who has the same sex.

Brett looks behind on his life, what has happened to him, what he was before. It was quite beautiful seeing how people grow up. He grew up to be a wonderful son and brother and he wished his mother the best. The death of his mother still scars him from time to time but it was now rare. He could only remember the good times he had with her. He wished that he could bring them back physically but it does not matter. It lives within him and the music he shares and creates for everyone else to see him.

Edward looks behind his life as well. He saw how he grew up to be a better musician and how he is now better than he could ever be. He now stands as the man of the family and takes care of his sister and mother quite well for his age. It was a good kind of change and sometimes, his father's voice haunts him. Edward just wished to bring pride in the name that his father passed down to him. He wanted to make him proud and succeed for his family. He strived to be a better man now.

Brett looks at what he has now. He has a stable job at the conservatory and he tutors a fine man that is named Edward Chen. He takes pride in the younger man's improvements and the way his teachings seem to seep through the younger's playing. It was beautiful how with the right guidance, a musician could blossom into a great one by his guidance. Even if his love was unrequited, he could take pride in the fact that he was the one who made Edward Chen the great player he is now and the player that he will be.

Eddy looks at how far he has come now. How he had become a better and less tense player than before. How he is less shy about playing in a public setting and how he had gotten over his stage fright. He was now good enough to be the soloist he aspires to be but there is more room for improvement. He does not mind now if his advances are swept under the rug, what matters is he could feel Brett's dedication in making him a better violinist. If Brett Yang does not love him, then it would be fine.

Brett looks at his future. A soloist that traveled the world to share his glory, violin concertos dedicated to him by composers, maybe even symphonies in the glory of his name. If he was lucky he would be loved by Edward Chen. He considers a future with Eddy, whether just a friend or if he is lucky, a lover. He simply wants Edward Chen in his life until he is stuck in his deathbed. He just wants to lead a life where he does not have regrets. Well, he has one regret. Being a coward to fight for his love.

Edward looks at his future as if he was enjoying a summer day. It was bright and warm, no rain would get in between him and his warmth. He was going to be a soloist and nothing would be able to stop him. Unless the sun would tell him to runaway and live a free life as his husband. The sun was Brett Yang. He cannot imagine a future without his mentor, the love of his life and maybe even his best friend. If the sun asked him to drop it all just to stay with Brett Yang, he will.

Both men snap out of their reverie when the notes of the violin are now just lingering in the air. Brett clear his dried up throat and congratulates Eddy.

"That was better compared when he started two weeks ago. The coordination of your left hand with your right hand is now better."

"Thank you, Brett. Anything that I have to work on by next week?"

"For next week, I am not giving you anything. Your theory exams are happening next week and I do not wish to interfere with that. I will give you a new piece to work on after your exams. Do you have anymore questions?"

"I actually do but it is not music related."

"I told you, I am not just your mentor but also a friend. Now, what is the question."

"What if I love a person and they do not love me back?"

There was a deafening silence. Brett might have just felt his heart shatter. Of course, Eddy would have a certain woman in his mind. Why would not he like anyone? After a painful and short string of thoughts, Brett answered.

"Do you want her to love you back?"

"Another problem. Please do not look at me differently but I am in love with a man." Edward whispered, not wanting anyone to hear him. He does not look at Brett because of the shame of his confession.

"I do not mind if you love a man. Love knows no bounds nor sex." Brett whispered back, also afraid of the consequences if they were heard.

"Thank you for being open-minded, Brett."

"It is not something to thank me for. Anyway, it is much more riskier with a man. You have to make sure that he is also open-minded, or else they might tell on you. You do not want your reputation to be ruined, don't you not? If he is open-minded tell him the truth, chances is that he will be open in trying to love you back."

"You think so?"

"Of course. Just be careful, okay?"

Edward nods and smiles. It was unbelievable, the man he loves does not hate him for loving the same sex. It was too early to tell him, though. He starts to wonder if Brett had ever had the same experience as him.

"I will see you next week, okay?"

"Of course, Eddy. Just remember, love is love and you do not choose who you love."

"I know. Thank you..."

Edward said as he hugged Brett. It takes a lot for Brett to keep his composure. The contact, even if it lasted a few seconds, is enough to make him feel as though he jumped in a fireplace. The wildlife spreads and Brett Yang took refuge in the middle of it.

Edward walked away from the classroom with a big smile. The shiver he suppressed was now free to happen as he is out of Brett's sight. His heartbeat skipped a bit and the symphony in his head played a cold sounding second movement. He suddenly felt the cold when he is not around Brett's presence. Still, he was happy that Brett was not repulsed by his love. Maybe he could tell him in the right time, for now, he could only show this love when they are alone.

Far away from the judging eyes and the disgusted looks. It does not seem to matter who he loves because Brett Yang was open to love for all. Brett Yang is not repulsed by his love. The only thing he was not sure of was whether Brett could love him back.

Brett Yang was just happy because he comforted the younger man. At least the younger man could love a man like him. Who was Brett kidding, though? Eddy deserves someone who was far from Brett. Someone as strong and beautiful as he was, Brett knows that he is not this.

It was a bitter type of pain but the hope at the back of his head makes it a bit sweeter. Brett wonders what it might mean to deserve Eddy.

Brett only has one resolution. He will strive to be the man that Edward Chen deserves and wants.