The Lost Helianthus (COMPLETED)

Chapter Eleven

After putting a perfect 100 written in my notebook before bedtime , I closed it and went outside my room for a while.

Lumingon muna ako sa paligid bago ko isinara ang pinto. Nakahinga lang ako nang maluwag dahil tahimik na sa paligid. For sure, tulog na si Mama.

I tiptoed to the kitchen, making sure my footsteps won't produce any sound. Binilisan ko ang kilos ko ngunit may halo pa ring pag-iingat habang nagluluto ng popcorn. Kahit na maingay ang nililikha ng pumuputok na mais ay tiwala akong hindi na iyon maririnig ni Mama. Medyo malayo na ang kuwarto ni Mama kaya alam kong hindi niya alam kung ano ang ginagawa ko.

I don't have any time to hear her scolding. Masyado nang malalim ang gabi at bago pa niya malaman na nagluto ako, lilinisin ko na agad ang ebidensiya.

After kong hugasan ang kawaling ginamit ko ay bumalik na ako sa silid ko na bitbit ang bowl ng popcorn.

I then searched for my phone. Napagdesisyunan ko munang manood muli ng Miraculous: Tales of LB and CN para na rin mawala ang stress ko. Malay mo at baka makahanap ako ng ideya sa magiging hakbang ko tungkol kay Alek.

Who knows if he's watching any cartoon films.

I leaned on my chair as I munched on the popcorn I made while I enjoyed vibing at the intro song of the show.

One of my hidden guilty pleasures was watching cartoons. I maybe old, but no one's old enough not to enjoy watching shows like this. Itinatago ko lang ito at hindi sinasabi sa mga kaibigan ko dahil baka pagtawanan lang ako.

I never feared anything, not until I witnessed myself being bullied by my menacing friends. God, it's so irritating. Ilang linggo nilang hindi makakalimutan iyon at paulit-ulit nilang ipapaalala sa iyo ang mga kinabubuwisitan mo. Halimbawa na doon si Asher na nalaman nga dati na si Theo ang naging crush ko.

I swear I was close to beating him into pulp, if ever he didn't close his mouth shut.

I've learned my lesson since then. Even if I wanted to show them who I entirely was, I can't. That shit was traumatizing. Hindi ko alam kung kailan nila ibubuka ang bibig nila at hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ako magtitimpi kung nangyari iyon.

Only one person knows my addiction in cartoon shows. She's also a Miraculer like me and someone who I can share my thoughts and theories but then, she's from another story. She's my former classmate, by the way.

Sa huli, ini-skip ko na lang ang panonood sa Miraculous. Wala naman akong makukuhang ideya para sa pag-amin ko kay Alek dahil naiirita na ako sa pag-'she's just a friend' ni Adrien.

Buwisit talaga. Why does Alek have to learn so many languages? I don't want to take a risk and confess using a foreign language dahil baka ang maisambit ko pang kataga ay napag-aralan na niyang language.

Sa huli, Phineas and Ferb na lang ang pinanood ko. I tried to focus on the show and get de-stressed. I put aside everything revolving Alek because he's one of my stressors. And when I did that, I was put at ease.

I am enjoying the show and didn't mind how late the night is. Natatawa na lang ako habang sinasabayang kumanta si Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and of course, the greatest simp, Isabella. I still memorized the lyrics well.

Habang sinasabayan sila ay may napagtanto ako. Huminto ako muna sandali at pinakinggang mabuti ang lyrics ng kanta. Unti-unting nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang nag-sink in sa akin ang meaning ng kanta.

Finally, the solution to my problem. I didn't  know that the song I've been vibing ever since I was kid will be the answer.

I smiled at myself when I realized that I already found a way to admit my feelings with Alek looking foolish.