The Lost Helianthus (COMPLETED)

Chapter Forty

Naghihintay ako kay Theo dahil siya ang nakatokang sumundo sa akin ngayon. Today is my last day here and I am exhilarated to tell that I can finally focus on myself now that I don't have any more commitments to the company. Kaya ko nang iwasan ang mga taong kailangang kong iwasan at harapin ang mga nararamdaman kong kailangan kong harapin.

After sorting out out all my problems, I can finally tend my whole attention to my career.

I squinted my eyes when I saw the devil spawn approaching me and like how stones needed to flint in order to form a fire, that's my signal to expel what's hidden beneath me after the calm I experienced due to my encounter with Alek days prior. Anger. One of the stages of coping after grief and bargaining and I'm glad I can unleashed it now. Perfect timing.

Gustuhin ko mang tumakbo papasok sa building kahit nasa labas na ay hindi ko na lang ginawa. Tinatamad ako. Malas niya at malala ako kung magalit.

"Can we talk?" Agad niyang sabi nang makarating sa harapan ko.

"Talk."

Naging malikot ang mata niya at tumingin sa paligid. "Can we talk somewhere else?"

Tumaas ang kilay ko dahil sa narinig. Bakit nag-iisip siya ng maayos na lugar para mapag-usapan ang gulo naming dalawa pero hindi niya naisipang ayusin mismo ang behavior niya noong kami pa?

"Talk or you won't have any chance again."

His shoulders slumped, indicating he's giving up on pushing to take me somewhere else. Huminga siya nang malalim na parang nahihirapan siyang nasa harapn niya ako ngayon.

Ako rin naman.

"Sorry."

I looked at him, deadpan while my jaw clenches. His voice was sad and full of remorse but somehow, it doesn't affect me. My brain refused to process his apology was sincere. Hindi eh. All I see right now is an asshole whose just saying this right now because the guilt kept consuming his conscience. Para mailigtas niya lang ang sarili niya. Para mapalinis niya ang imahe niya. Kung sincere siya, bakit ngayon ko lang narinig? Bakit pinaabot niya ng two weeks kung kailan napagtagpi-tagpi ko na lahat?

Hindi ako nag-isip ng kung ano noong ipinakilala niya si Aileen two weeks after our break up. I know Aileen at alam kong madali lang sa kanyang mahulog dito. But now, processing every information I gathered ransacked my brain. Nitong mga nakalipas lang na mga araw gumana talaga ang utak ko. Maari ka bang ma-inlove sa isang tao sa loob lang ng two weeks? Isa pang nagpasakit ng dibdib ko ay ang malamang six weeks na pa lang buntis si Aileen. It must mean that he was screwing her while he's still with me. He already found someone while I'm still trying to make everything work for the two of us. That must mean that even the phone I refused that made him ballistic was not even meant for me. It was really intended for her. Putangina.

I never doubt his faithfulness to me, which turned out to be my mistake. Sa sobrang tiwala ko sa kanya, nagugulat na lang ako sa mga nagagawa niyang hindi ko inaasahan. I treat him like a god and now I'm devastated and dismayed finding out he was really a clone of Satan.

Wala akong galit kay Aileen dahil labas siya dito. I'm sure she doesn't know anything about my connection with Alek. Kung titignan mo ay kapanipaniwalang walang karelasyon si Alek dahil tago kaming dalawa sa publiko. Ang huling litrato naming dalawa ay noong nagdaang dalawang taon pa. She must have concluded this jerk was single for two fucking straight years. Aileen is a sweetheart and I cannot pounce my hatred on her. Dahil unang-una sa lahat, wala siyang responsibilidad sa akin dahil hindi siya ang kasama kong pumasok sa relasyong ito.

Ang tanong ko lang, kailan siya dumating sa buhay ni Alek? Was it when we were still good or when things started to crumble down? Kung ang nauna ang sagot, hindi pa ba sapat ang naibibigay ko para humanap siya ng iba? Hindi pa ba siya lubos na masaya sa akin?