Who would have thought that a simple photoshoot would change my life forever?
Disclaimer: I have nothing against Danneel. I actually think that she is amazing.
A few days ago we returned to Austin but Jensen had to leave again for work. Danneel came by yesterday and picked up JJ so I'm left with the little ones. Today Alex was coming in Austin for some audition and said that he'll probably come to visit. The truth is that we are having a really good time together but we aren't hanging out as much as we used to since I stopped working which makes sense.
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Alex was sitting on the floor playing with Jack. He takes his phone for a moment "Babysitter, huh?" he asks and I chuckle "Well, you and Jack are doing great today" I say pointing at them "So you are using me" he says and I chuckle. He comes to me and sits besides me on the couch. I was holding Everleigh and I was getting her ready for her midday nap.
"You know, I have an idea" I say "What?" Alex asks hesitating a bit "I haven't worked in one and a half years and I really miss work so... I'm here with a good amount of professional equipment and you are here..." I say "Oh I'm down for a photoshoot" he says "Great. Thank you" I say excited "I'm gonna put Everleigh down in her Baby Bouncer and Jack in his Pack 'N Play for their nap and I'll be right back to prepare everything" I say. So I place the babies close to me and then with some help from Alex we staged everything. _____________
The truth is that we took some really good pictures and I enjoyed every second of it. "Question, why don't you do that with Jensen?" Alex asks as he puts his t-shirt on "He doesn't want to. I guess he is camera shy" I say and he chuckles "I'll load all the photos on my laptop and I'll send them to you" I say "Great. We should do that more often" he says "You have no idea how much I'd want to do this more often" I say.
"You miss work?" he asks "I do. I really do. Working was a way for me to feel something more than just a mom and a wife. Not that I don't like it, I love being a mom, I love my kids and Jensen but sometimes it gets too much" I say "Are there moments that you regret your decision?" he asks "Honestly? Yes. Jensen is doing the best he can with helping me and being here as much as possible and I appreciate it and I don't want to make him feel bad but I feel like I'm stuck in a loop. Wake up, kids, house, maybe husband, sleep and repeat" I say "I promise to come once in a month for photoshoot" he says trying to make me smile and I chuckle "Thank you" I say and he smiles. ______________
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Jensen calls me "Hi babe" I say "Hey. I see you are having fun" Jensen says and I chuckle "Oh you have no idea. By the way, Alex is gonna come once in a while for a photoshoot" I say "Why?" he asks "Come on, don't be jealous. I miss working and it was really nice doing it for even an hour or two. You know I put my mind and my fantasy to work again after so long" I say excited "Why didn't you tell me that you need to work? We could have talked about it and maybe found a solution" he says "I know. I just didn't want you to feel like you are not enough to make me happy, because you are. I love you and out family but I need to escape here and there" I say "Ok then, I'm happy that you found your model and I'm going to make you the favour and suffer through it" he says and I chuckle "Oh thank you Mr Ackles. You are so generous" I say ironically and he chuckles. _______________
The next week Jensen had four days off. So this morning I woke up by the kid's laugh which is the best way to wake up. I went to the bathroom and I noticed something pretty scary in my hair. "Jensen!" I yell "Jensen!" I yell again "What? Where is the spider?" he asks as he enters the bathroom holding a rolled newspaper "There is no spider. It's even worse" I say "Cockroach?" he asks "Even worse" I say "Mouse? Is it a mouse?" he asks scared and jumps on the counter "Where is it? Where did it go?" he asks almost panicking "Ok, hero. Come down. There is no mouse" I say and he jumps down.
"Then what happened?" he asks "Look at me" I say "I am" he says "I have a grey hair. Some of my roots are grey" I say and he chuckles "Why are you laughing?" I ask and I hit his shoulder "Oh baby..." he says and hugs me "Is that it?" he asks "I'm getting older Jensen" I say "I don't care. I don't care if your hair start to get grey or wrinkles start to appear on your beautiful face. You're always going to be the most beautiful person in the whole world" he says "Are you lying just to make me feel better?" I ask "No. Of course not" he says and kisses my head.
"Dad! Jack climbed on the coffee table!" JJ yells "I gotta go" Jensen says, pecks my lips and runs to go get Jack. I got dressed and went to find them. "I'm getting my hair dyed or just a root touch up as soon as possible" I say and Jensen chuckle "Ok" he says.
I pick Everleigh up and I sit down with Jensen. JJ and Jack were playing in front of us. They were having a royalty tea party and it was adorable. Jack gets up and takes a princess crown from the toy's box. He walks to me and gives it to me. "Is this for me?" I ask "No" he says and takes it back. He puts it on Ev's head and goes back to the table with JJ. This is the cutest thing. My eyes got watery immediately and Jensen noticed it.
"Are you ok?" he asks me rubbing my back "Yes, I'm ok" I say looking at the ceiling and wiping my tear. He chuckles and wraps his arm around my shoulders. I lay my head on his shoulder and Ev lays her legs on him. He smiles and rubs her small leg. "Is this what you imagined parenting would be like?" Jensen asks me "It's much better than anything I've ever imagined" I say and I kiss him. "I love you" he says and pecks my lips "Even with white hair" he says and chuckles "Ok, that's the joke we say to Jared" I say and he chuckles "I love you no matter what" he says and I smile. "I will always love you" he says "I will always love you too" I say. He smiles and kisses me.
