Hot Cappuccino Boy - BxB (COMPLETE)

Chapter 50

As soon as I leave the room, I get appreciative whistles.

"Hey, it's okay, guys, I know you fantasise about this body..."

Sam throws me a cushion from the sofa, which fails miserably, while Ben laughs.

"Hey, is that for your boyfriend?" he asks me, looking amused.

"No. It's my mother's birthday today."

Any trace of amusement disappears from Ben's face as Sam sits up on the couch.

"What?"

"Your mother?"

Their chorus would be almost comical under other circumstances. On this occasion, I don't particularly feel like laughing. I pass a nervous hand over the shirt I'm wearing under my jacket.

"Is she dead or what?" Sam suddenly asks.

"Sam! " exclaims Ben.

"Excuse me, but considering Ethan's history with his family ... "

"Nah, it's okay, Sam's right."

I take a deep breath.

"Reggie phoned me a while ago..."

Ben makes a mocking sound, but remains silent otherwise. He's the only one, besides Aden now, who knows the whole story. I give him a poor excuse of a smile.

"He asked me to come to celebrate my mother's 50th birthday."

"And you're gonna go?" Sam cries out, eyes round with surprise behind his glasses.

I absolutely understand his surprise. I just hope to find the words, as I did with Aden, minus the crying, to make them understand what motivated my decision to go there today.

"Yes, I'm going. I... it's not for her, it's for me. And this..."

I'm pointing out the cozy chic clothes I'm wearing.

"It's your armor," Ben whispers, breaking the silence around us.

I nod, shooting him a grateful look.

"Hey, I'm still here and I want an explanation!" Sam says, a bit indignant. "Instead of activating your telepathic link..."

At least it relaxes the atmosphere a little.

"Not sure you'll understand, sweetie," Ben replies in between sips of tea. "And no, it has nothing to do with how smart you are, but it's something that if you're concerned..."

"Yeah, okay, I get it," Sam's scowling, but not in a reproachful way. Since he's been living with us, he's used to being told that there are things you can't understand unless you're concerned.

"I've done the same thing with my family," Ben adds. "Once I felt strong enough to face them and their looks, their thoughts about me, I got all dressed up to the nines and showed up at my former house one Sunday. I knew everybody would be together since it's the Lord's day..."

"So?" Sam asks after a while. "Did they... accept you?"

I take a compassionate look at my ex. I know what happened. Ben already told me. Sam apparently didn't know about it until now.

"Nope. It was a fiasco from start to the end! Except for my mother and two of my sisters, the rest of the family was either horrified by my presence or ignored me during my entire visit. Some even called me by my deadname..."

I got a lump in my throat. I can't even imagine how brave Ben was to do something like that.

Sam scratches his head, looking puzzled. And yet, it's in a soft voice that he asks:

"What exactly did you get out of that?"

Ben takes some time to think before answering:

"I was hurt by their rejection, their refusal to see me as I am now, of course. But in the end, as soon as I set foot outside, I felt a great relief. I was me, you see, they had seen it, and to those who no longer wanted anything to do with me, who had ignored or insulted me, I was finally able to say goodbye."

He turns to me.

"That's what you're gonna do, right?"

I nod.

I don't expect anything else from my mother - she's certainly not going to hug me and regret what happened, let alone apologize. She's not someone who can do that kind of self-reflection. But it doesn't matter. Because, when I get there and show them all what I've become, I'll have already won.

Ben comes up to me, gives me a hug. I hold on to him, drawing support from his presence, from his generosity.

"Damn it, you're going to shut me out again!" Sam moans in the background.

"Come on, then, little red!"

I'm laughing as Sam joins us.

"You'll call if you ever need support?" he whispers to me, with a worried look on his face.

"Don't worry. And besides... I won't be alone."

Ben's gaze meets mine, filled with a knowing joy.

"Good luck, mate."

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