1st June
Clementine wanders down the cobblestone streets, hands shading her eyes from the sun as she picks her feet across the stone paving slabs.
Clutched in her hands, she holds an informational leaflet for courses at the towns local university. She tries not to think about the fact that it's the same university that Violet studied her PGCE at. By now at the start of June, Violet's course will be long finished.
As she does from time to time, Clementine lets her mind wander to her ex-girlfriend.
The brunette hasn't seen or heard from Violet since mid-February, when she'd caught Clementine with Louis, standing together barely dressed in her bedroom. Clementine had expected a few days of silence while Violet dealt with the ultimate heartbreak of betrayal. But then the days rolled into weeks, which in turn, rolled into months.
Though Clementine knew it was her actions that had brought this on, she began to loathe Violet for taking out her anger in an elaborate form of the silent treatment.
On some days, Clementine told herself she had what she wanted now in Louis, and that Violet could throw all the silence at Clementine in the world, and why should she care?
Other days though, Clementine was swallowed up by the sadness and heartbreak and would spend most days curled up against her sheets, sobbing. Crying for hours over the pure thing she'd shared with Violet that Clementine had ground into a pulp below her boot just because she was bored.
Occasionally the brunette would drive to Violet's home, but the lights were always off and the doors bolted closed. Clementine eventually learnt that Violet had actually moved away after a conversation with Brody, but the older girl refused to tell Clementine where Violet had gone.
Clementine had lost her, and it was all her fault.
From that evening on, the brunette had drowned her sorrows in strong alcoholic drinks, spent her nights with Louis beneath the sheets, letting her stress fall away under his sturdy familiar hands.
For Clementine, time seemed to pass excruciatingly slow. The months of March, April, and May dragged their heels with no respite from her personal self-hate, or despair without Violet by her side.
Bringing herself back to reality, Clementine pauses in the archway of an alleyway, leaning against the stone wall, smiling at people who walk past. Feeling slightly lost, she pulls up the map icon on her phone to find her way around an unfamiliar town.
As she scans the screen she lets her mind wander again. This time, she thinks of Louis.
Louis who she'd dreamed about being with for so long. Her fascination with Louis that she'd let overwhelm her and stamp out the fire in her relationship. Now that she had Louis, Clementine realised how much she wanted Violet instead.
Since Violet had moved away, Louis himself had been more distant. Which made sense after Clementine was able to see through her own self-loathing. Louis may have had feelings for Clementine the whole time, but it seems that acting on them was one step too far, and now Louis probably hates Clementine as much as she hates herself.
Unable to stop herself, Clementine can't help but smirk at how fucked up everything is.
Despite the contentment of the distraction it provided, everything with Louis felt wrong, almost as though her endless fantasies of what being with Louis might be like had dampened the reality. The sex was fine but only fine. No intimacy, no longing or passion, just sex. The opposite of what she'd fantasised about.
The opposite of what she'd had with Violet.
Sometimes Clementine wondered who Louis was thinking about when they were in bed together because he clearly wasn't thinking of her. Not that the brunette minded. Clementine thought exclusively of Violet, a stark contrast to the person she was actually being intimate with.
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Keep Lying To Me | Violentine
Fanfiction'That's the problem with being in love, love makes you blind.' [COMPLETED]
