Keep Lying To Me | Violentine

Part Four | Set My Soul On Fire

February 17th -  Clementine

Clementine: I need to talk to you; please can we talk about this. Please, Violet, text me back.

Clementine drops her phone on her bed as she wipes the tears from her eyes and abandons her overnight bag on the floor of her bedroom.

As she was instructed, she'd spent the night at the holiday lodge, crying in her bedroom while everyone else drank, and partied, and laughed. She knows that having feelings for someone else is wrong, she knows that Violet was within her right to get angry and leave.

Though, a smaller part of Clementine's mind had hoped that Violet would have taken into account that Clementine hadn't actually acted on her inappropriate feelings. Looking back on it the day after, she can see just how much pain she's caused.

Louis had driven her home early that morning, effectively cutting short the holiday plans and ruining everyone's weekend.

That's what Clementine did best, ruin things.

Clementine usually loved her time with Louis, even though she knew it was wrong to feel that way. Even though she was even more wrong to lean into those feelings instead of pushing them away.

Instead of joking with him as normal, finding subtle ways to flirt or get him to glance at her, Clementine had remained completely silent during the hour-long car journey home. Head pressed against the glass, staring aimlessly out of the window as the gloom inside her swallowed her up, and the tears ran down her face.

Clementine drops down on her bed, abandoning any plans to unpack and try to get about her day. Until Violet texts her back, she'll lie against the sheets, with the scratchy material rubbing against the already sore, sensitive skin of her cheek.

Clementine's not sure when her feelings for Louis changed from platonic to romantic. It was all a whirlwind that had blown out of control. When she'd first met Violet and her extensive group of friends, she'd paid no more attention to Louis than anyone else.

Her life during the early days of her relationship with the blonde was a flurry of laughter, sex, and love. She was filled with endless happiness. She'd spend all her hours with Violet, every second she could take. When they'd first met at university, Violet had been a third-year student and Clementine a fresher. Complete opposites in every way yet drawn to each other like magnets.

Louis was just Violet's friend. Violet was her world.

The brunette checks her phone again, shifting onto her back on the mattress. There are no new messages, no indication that Violet has even seen the message, no hope for their relationship to be salvaged.

Clementine throws her phone back on the bed beside her and groans loudly. She's so angry at herself, at her emotions, her inability to be truthful with Violet when all of this started.

The first time she'd looked at Louis differently was at a summer BBQ in celebration of Violet passing the theory part of her PGCE. Clementine had stepped inside to take a break from the intense heat beating down on her. Wiping the beads of sweat from her forehead, she'd padded into the kitchen, poured herself a cup of water and leaned against the counter.

Louis had sauntered up behind her, made some comment or joke that Clementine can no longer remember. What she can recall though, was staying inside with him for at least an hour. They moved from the kitchen to the living room, away from the noises of the BBQ and prying ears and eyes.

They'd talked about everything, growing up, university, and their hopes for adulthood, jobs, and aspirations. At some point, the talk turned to relationships, love, sex, and desire. Clementine, red-faced and embarrassed told Louis things that she'd never even told Violet without really knowing why. Personal, intimate things, things you don't tell friends. At one point, he'd touched her hand, left his fingers lingering on her skin.