Keep Lying To Me | Violentine

Part Six | Holding Onto Nothing

5th March

"So, you're going through with this then?"

Violet pays little attention to Brody and instead looks around the small barren room she's standing in. The blonde rotates in a small circle before she settles her gaze on the older girl.

"I told you," says Violet as she inhales. "I've made up my mind, this is the third studio flat that I've looked at, this is happening."

Brody looks at the space that Violet is gesturing to. The room is a solid square shape, with two small windows over on the north-facing wall. They overlook a shabby and thoroughly unkempt garden, growing wild with weeds and unruly knee-high thistles.

The room itself houses a small kitchenette with cheaply made wooden cupboards and an ancient oven nestled between them. There's a strip of cheap vinyl tile on the floor beneath the kitchen appliances, and a small table and singular chair sitting between the tile and the worn light grey carpet.

Towards the back of the room is a large sofa, that from afar, looks springy and ratted with holes. On further inspection, Brody suspects that this is a sofa bed, seeing no other place to sleep in the room and noticing the cluster of pillows and blankets leaning against the side of the couch.

The wall opposite the sofa bed is decorated with a singular wooden shelf and a small-sized television, balancing precariously on top of the structure. There's a number of old paperbacks lining the shelves, dotting the otherwise bleak room in colour. Brody waltzes over and picks up one, flicking through the sun-bleached pages before slotting it back on the bookshelf.

"It feels like you're running away Violet," Brody mutters, moving back towards the sofa bed and leaning against the light blue walls. In this section of the room, the paint is chipping away and cobwebs dominate the corners of the ceiling.

"I'm not running away," mumbles Violet, "I'm moving on."

Brody scoffs, Violet catches her expression and frowns. "You're also moving miles away from us all. If that's not running away from your past, I don't know what is."

"Then look at it this way," explains Violet as she exhales and rests her arms against the back of the single dining room chair seated by the oak table. The set takes up a huge space in the already tiny kitchen, and Brody can't help but feel claustrophobic in the small room. Violet clears her throat as she continues to explain. "I'm closer to university here, the rent is cheap. I can get a part-time job in town while I wait to get a full-time teaching job."

Violet turns to look confidently at her friend. "I am not running away from the past," she states, meeting Brody's eyes. "I'm embracing the future."

Brody rolls her shoulders and looks around the tiny room harbouring the bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, and the dining area in one small space. "This place though?" she mutters, clearly in disagreement. "You're going to live here?"

"If I'm lucky," counters Violet. She catches Brody's continued look of confusion and underlying pity. "Look, Brody, I don't need a bigger space than this, a studio flat is fine. I have no plans to date again anytime soon, and this is just somewhere temporary to stay until I finish my course at the end of summer."

Brody's face lights up. "And then you'll come back home?"

Violet looks away and exhales the air she's holding in her lungs. "I don't know," she answers, keeping her gaze firmly on the bookshelf in front of her.

The older girl can't hide her visible disappointment, and she purses her lips while she waits for Violet to elaborate, hoping that staring at the blonde will remind Violet to give Brody a better explanation.